I’m tired and I’m sleepy
And I want to rest my mind,
But there is a problem
That I cannot leave behind:
As much as I need slumber
And as much as I need rest
Staying up unreasonably late
Is the one thing I do best.
Tag Archives: poems
Some Assembly Required
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Though it was obvious Humpty would die
Still the king said, “Give the horses a try!”
Filed under Poems
First Date Conversations
There once was some rear pelvic part
That emitted the deadliest fart.
The gas from the bowels
Caused the most gruesome howls,
Worse even than most modern art.
Filed under Poems
Colorful Language
Purple golden orange
Shines green in an azure pool.
What’s in these brownies?
Filed under Poems
Our Turn
At wee early hour on the hills by my home
I’d knock on your door, heart a burning
To dance there with you
And the golden morning dew,
Giving thanks that the world keeps a turning.
When sun finally breaks, gold and heavy that morn
And we stride proud below sky a burning
I’ll feel like a king
With the first bud of the Spring
And give thanks that the world keeps a turning.
The sun at it’s apex, a blanket beneath,
And two lovers for picnic are yearning.
Her hair smooth as silk
They drink honey and the milk
In the garden of Earth, still a turning.
As years turn to lifetimes and bodies to dust
The couple does not cease their learning.
They lie, cold and still
And the two become the hill,
Still part of the world ever turning.
Remember the sunshine. Remember the lifetime.
Remember the sweet butter churning.
Remember the dawn
For someday the Earth will yawn
And together we’ll rest from the turning.
Dear Vegans
Many chickens passed away
So you could have a meal.
You killed them and ate their eggs;
How does that make you feel?
Many chickens were beheaded,
Plucked, and fried in fat.
Because of that, I feel full
And I’m okay with that.
Filed under Poems
Aldous Approves
There once was a gaudy raven
Who wore a crown, but wasn’t a king.
A pair of humans saw this
And plotted a wicked thing.
They aimed to kill the impostor
So around the land ‘twould be heard:
“Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
“Two kill a mock king bird!”
Filed under Poems
She’s Actually Not, But The Punchline Makes Me Seem Desperate, And Desperation Is Funny
My girl is sexier than yours.
She could knock hinges off doors.
She has pretty knees and toes
And looks good with and without clothes.
She has pretty auburn hair
And says fancy stuff like “Au contraire”.
She’s the girl I’m going to marry…
Who cares if she’s imaginary?
Filed under Poems
Why Adventurers Just Don’t Anymore In 2022
We survived a drowning island.
We endured the burning sand.
We outlasted freezing rain
And our cousin’s cover band.
We’ve outrun giant boulders
And a crazy nazi horde
But when the radio plays songs
By Taylor Swift… Oh Lord!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 