They have hot dogs; they have buns.
They have lunch meat; they have pancakes.
The equivalence I want to know:
What sort of meat a pair with waffles makes.
Tag Archives: Poetry
Really Strained For That Rhyme… But Seriously! I Want Meat With Little Pits For The Syrup!
Filed under Poems
Maybe “Reckless” Is The Wrong Word…?
I went to a gathering of people
Who like to drink and drive,
Pull quickly into traffic…
On recklessness they thrive.
They’re the reason we have accidents
And I almost forgot to mention
That there were lots of nerds there.
It was a start wreck convention!
Filed under Poems
OnlineS3curi+y101
It asked me for my password;
I entered happyfreebird.
It said I needed a capital;
I wrote happyfreebirdL.
It said you need a number too;
I wrote happyfreebirdL2.
It said your password is weak and so is your bloodline, your identity will be stolen and you’ll deserve it you basic, filthy fleshbag;
I wrote gibberish because I’m just going to click “Forgot my password” anyway.
Filed under Poems
Seriously, Where’s The Llove?
Pegasus was a magical horse
Who carried heroes on its back.
Cerberus was a magical dog
With three heads for efficient attack.
The sphinx was a kitty who guarded a treasure
With elegant riddles and wit.
Now I want to hear of a mythical llama
Like cupid, but it shoots you with spit.
Filed under Poems
She Said Yes!
There once was a poet who asked
“Girlfriend, with marrying me will you be tasked?”
She said “Yes, ‘cause you’re weird
“And have a sexy beard.”
Then in congratulations we basked.
Filed under Poems
Paper And Scissors Can’t Top This
I exercised my glutes until they were hard as rock.
I entered a hardass contest and thought I was a lock.
I flex my bum! The judges gasp! I’m certain that I’ve got ‘em!
But even though my butt won first, I’d really hit rock bottom.
Filed under Poems
Art Is Subjective
People always say
“I miss the good old days”
But I think that’s misguided
In many different ways,
Chief of which is that
Although they made so many gargoyles
And so many fountains
The two were very seldom combined,
Which means we’ve had thousands of years
That could have had gargling gargoyles
And yet we got garden gnomes.
Filed under Poems
Why People Are Getting Married Less Nowadays
Glorious, glamorous, glandular, gassy,
Serious, spurious, sanctified, sassy,
Furious, fabulous, fortified, fun:
If they match all these adjectives, you’ve found the one!
Filed under Poems
Car Insurance And Corporate Suckupishness: A Modern Masterpiece Of Poetical Ingenuity
There once was a certifiable psycho
Who didn’t want to save money with Geico.
He was a horrible git
And that’s about it
And if Geico gives me a sponsorship because I emphasized their brand message, then me like-o.
Filed under Poems
Don’t Do Drugs… Or Poetry
If I had a chicken
Made of a golden laser beam
I’d think the Altoids that I bought
Were not as they would seem…
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 