Instead of arguing white vs. black,
Men vs. women, straights vs. gays,
Let’s just accept that we’re all kinda dumb
And move on with our kinda dumb days.
Tag Archives: Poetry
Congressional Privilege
So we can’t pay employees
Who keep on working hard
Despite a shut-down government
With a maxed-out credit card
And yet we pay the people
Who got us in this mess
With money that we do not have?
‘Murica, I guess…
Filed under Poems
You’ve Got Fail
Microsoft had a Magic 8-Ball
And shook it every day
To get ideas for products
Based on what it had to say.
For Word, the ball said “Signs point to yes.”
For Powerpoint, it said “You should.”
But the message they most took to heart
Was “Outlook not so good.”
Filed under Poems
We Could Have Had Super Soldiers By Now, And Yet…
Still no one has tried
Giving coffee to the sloths.
Science, what the #%**?
Filed under Poems
I’d Go Myself, But I Have Pilates At 10:30
Ride on! Ride on brave warriors!
To doom and glory ye harken.
Your hope burns bright though every night
And day the skies doth darken.
Ride on! Ride on our guardians
To wherever you might go
For someone hath misused my pronouns
And their error to them you must show.
Filed under Poems
Fine Whine
There once was a popular singer
Whose love life was put through the ringer.
Her dreams all came true
Yet she still sings to you
About how life still gives her the finger.
Filed under Poems
Oh Yeah… We’ll Also Make Every Micro-Sheet Get Dispensed Using Electricity Made From Burning Coal
So paper towels are made from trees
And killing tree will kill the Earth
So to save more trees and thus the planet
We must have a towel dispenser rebirth:
Henceforth no towel dispenser shall
Give more than a three-inch sheet.
Of course you can use it unlimited times.
Isn’t saving the planet neat?
Filed under Poems
I Failed My Wisdom Saving Throw
Work at 5:00 AM.
We played D&D tonight.
Sleep is optional.
Filed under Poems
No Really… What’s The Downside?
We finally did it!
We shut down the Feds!
We didn’t use violence
And lop off their heads;
We didn’t act cleverly
Nor were we strategic
We just let them keep spending
‘Til the budget went paraplegic.
The government shutdown
Is the start of new ways
If we can just keep it going
More than 35 days.
Filed under Poems
And They Complain About “Football Time”
April the 4th, 1902:
His wife said, “We’re leaving in 5.”
Today his wife’s ghost put on her shoes
And asked, “Hey, why aren’t you alive?”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 