Tag Archives: Fun

But Seriously, Who Doesn’t Want To Do This At Least Once?

I think people would be happier

If once a day, for free,

They could take an eighteen-wheeler

Packed with TNT

And have a robot drive it

Into their neighbor’s chrysanthemum

But that’s very illegal

‘Cause the government is dumb.

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Pillow Talk

She told me I was childish,

Young and immature

With some form of exuberance

For which there is no cure.

I took a breath and looked at her

And offered my retort:

“Let’s have this conversation

“Somewhere other than my fort.”

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You all begin by passing “go,”

But who will win we don’t yet know.

You buy land with childish glee

Wherever two dice should decree.

This play continues for a while

And all the players wear a smile

Until the property is bought.

Then the game changes a lot.

Instead of paying endless rent

It pays to be of criminal bent

And spend a couple turns in jail

Before you pay a $50 bail.

But at this point the odds are high

That you know who is the guy

Who’ll win the game when all is done.

At this point it’s no longer fun.

But do you stop when joy is gone?

No! No! No! You carry on!

When bankrupt are the car and shoe,

The thimble’s dead and so are you

So ends the game, and that is when

The winner says “Let’s play again!”

Then you and the losers, at your behest

Punch the winner in his community chest.

Through the pain he says “Tsk, tsk.

“Then how about a game of Risk?”

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Why Cops Love Summer

The twinkling stream

In sea-foam green

Was strolling o’er the rocks

And on the sand

A merry band

Were clothed in naught but socks.

They danced about,

Let it all hang out,

Just happy to be young,

Especially he,

Who’s six-foot-three

And very amply-hung.

Their harmless fun

Had hurt no one

But the cops lacked any pity:

“This here stream,

“Rural as it may seem,

“Is legally still the city.”

The cops gave out

With an air of clout

Citations to the nudists.

They seemed unstressed

As they got dressed

As if they all were buddhists.

Now clothed, the band

Heeded police demand.

It’s true! I checked on Snopes.

Unclothed, unarmed

They went home unharmed,

So black folks: there’s still hope!


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A Recipe For Disaster

A teaspoon of a crazy thought,

Two cups of your favorite beer,

A pinch of “well, it couldn’t hurt”

Absolutely zero fear.

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A Day At The Beach

A dog and his man

Hopped into a van

And drove down to the ocean.

The dog jumped in the surf

And rolled in the turf

While the man put on suntan lotion.

The man made sand castles,

The dog ate some tassles.

They both watched a volleyball game.

The dog chased rubber balls

And peed on brick walls,

And the man covertly did the same.

The man and his doggy

Wet, dirty, and soggy,

Hopped back in their automobile.

And they drove back home,

Covered in sand and loam,

With the dog in control of the wheel.


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A Weekend Outing

We run through the park

Away from the light.

It’s awfully dark

To be flying a kite,

But vampires have to

Find creative means

To be a good parent

To their vampire teens.

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Powdery snow flakes
‘Neath my six-foot plastic feet.
Praying for my life.

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The Importance of Play

It’s good to be a kid
Like all of us once did,
And I think we really ought to do it more,

‘Cause maturity’s alright,
And the world may be a fright,
But without some fun it’s nothing but a bore.

So kick and throw a ball or dirt
And play until your muscles hurt
And smile and laugh until your face quits its obedience.

You’ve got all the time you need,
To work and sleep and breed,
So try to play today, with great expedience.

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Roller Coaster

You climb without hands
For hundreds of feet,
With your body strapped into
A hard plastic seat.

Then your car hits the peak
And you look down the slope,
The ground and a crowd
And the loss of all hope.

And with your heart beating
Like domestic abuse
You rush down the slope,
Through the drops and corkscrews.

Forty five seconds later
The ride is all done,
And you smile like a psycho
Wondering “Why was that fun?”

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