One world leader said
“Grab ’em by the pussy,”
But got elected anyway.
One would-be leader
Said “Don’t grab ’em by the pussy”
Before he did, so I guess he’s okay?
Tag Archives: Politics
If You Don’t Think This Poem Is Ironic, You’re Part Of The Problem
There’s no place for intolerance
Among people I know.
If you’re someone intolerant
Then you had better go.
Intolerance is evil
And if you disagree
Then you should be ashamed
And also learn to think like me!
Filed under Poems
We’re Also Live-Streaming Bird Songs And Countable Sheep
This is your local government
Now or pretty soon
Emailing to let you know
That we sanitized the moon.
Looking into space
Will no longer cause disease
So while we cancel everything
Go stargaze as you please.
Filed under Poems
The Elites
Who once was an ideologue
Now bears a predacious heart,
A prerequisite for leadership
In politics and art.
Who once fantasized
Is yoked by sponsors unseen,
Separate from the audience
Who now seem unclean.
Who once dreamed of changing
Now for sameness votes,
Repelling their friends,
Trapped within their own moats.
Who is no longer meek
Now learns how and why
The meek inherit nothing
If the elites never die.
Filed under Poems
Raucous Caucus Talk
In Iowa approacheth
Democratic circumstances
In which the snollygosters
Can perform their verbal dances,
Each hoping to ensnareth
Those gullible and influential
For they see primary voting
As a big campaign essential.
The maladroits have moseyed
And the minor leaguers drowned
Leaving only malefactors
With the finest lies around
And the lucky folks in Davenport,
Des Moines, and Keokuk
Get to argue first about
Who’s the least likely to suck.
Filed under Poems
Disagreement For Dummies
John said the best year
To be a sardine
Was 1783.
I think the best year
Was 1790
And thus John is dead to me.
Filed under Poems
The American Way
You haven’t thought of pickles today
And you haven’t jumped a rope.
You haven’t kissed an armadillo
And you’ll never be the pope.
Your eyes aren’t orange like cinnamon
And you have a tooth smaller than your knee,
But if we voted for a different guy
You’ll probably disagree.
Filed under Poems
Three Equally Feasible Ideals
Free college is nice
But some don’t want it.
Free healthcare is grand
But some people taunt it.
If we want to please
The entire USA
Pass a law that makes
Every day Saturday!
Filed under Poems
Feel Free To Add More!
If America falls into a second civil war
And you live in a republican town
It’s smart to hide in the welfare office
‘Cause that’s one place the Dems won’t burn down.
——————————————————–
If America falls into a second civil war
And you live in a democratic city
You’ll get shot alright
But if you’re not white
No one will say anything that makes you feel shitty.
——————————————————–
If America falls into a second civil war
And California is wiped off the map
The quality of films will go through the roof
As long as you like that Japanese crap.
Filed under Poems
My 2020 Endorsement
When I was a kid
I saw a film that changed my life
About a team of athletes
Who were suffering from strife.
They were not good at basketball
So they hired a dog to play.
If a dog can win a championship
Why not elect it, eh?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 