Tag Archives: Politics

Mixed Messages (AKA The Power of Marketing)

I read a few websites today

And thought I’d share a list

Of just a few quotations

That I now know exist.

The following will not be rhymed

Because they’re exact quotes;

The twist shall be revealed in time

So no need to take notes:

“We fight for clarity and truth telling. We fight for a world that we want our children to live in.”

“We also promote an aggressive search for and use of non-polluting and clean energy sources such as solar, wind, and clean fossil fuels.”

“We respect the right of homeowners and that no one should ever be forced from their home for the non payment of taxes.”

“We support all U.S. veterans. We should find those that are missing and take care of those who have come home.”

“We affirm our humanity, our contributions to this society, and our resilience in the face of deadly oppression.”

“We declare freedom is humanity’s highest ideal, and no cost is too great to ensure liberty and justice.”

“We disrupted business as usual and impacted the world. Thank you to our organizers, our supporters, and our allies.”

“We have fought like hell for our freedom and we will continue to fight like hell. Because we deserve more than we have been given. Because we deserve the healing and the transformation and most importantly we deserve to be free.”

So who are these idealists

Who write impassioned pleas

With hope that everyone will know

The world their author sees?

Some are from “Black Lives Matter.”

The rest are from the KKK.

One of them I just made up,

So happy research day!

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Who Else Watched The Debate?

“Roses are red!”

“No! Violets are blue!”

“That’s a lie!”

“Shut up!” “F*** you!”

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American Political Redux

Trumpty Dumpty built us a wall.

Trumpty Dumpty polled well in the Fall,

But an army of lawyers, Fox News, and white horses

Couldn’t stop CNN and “Anonymous Sources.”

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Two American Legends

Yankee Doodle went to town

Riding on a pony.

He stuck a feather in his cap

And called it macaroni.

Yankee Doodle was confused,

Perhaps ’cause of the ridin’,

And his random speech habit

Got picked up by Joe Biden.

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Giant Meteor: Not A Viable Candidate… Too Likeable

If you say the truth’s important

But you’re lying,

If you say you’re in perfect health

But you’re dying,

If you say you’re a real lady

But you’re a gent

I think you have a shot to be

The US President.

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If Only His Parents Named Him Neil…

Greg is 17-foot-3,

Runs faster than the eye can see,

And more impressive than Greg’s size is

How Greg’s won four Nobel Prizes.

Greg is just 18 years old.

All Greg touches turns to gold.

Greg’s backstory’s very tragical

Which makes Greg seem even more magical.

Greg declared the other day

Greg wants to play in the NBA.

The coaches laughed ’til they soiled their pants…

Greg once said, “Cops are fine,” so Greg never stood a chance.

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2021

Deep below, the hipster slugs

Are killing worms and taking drugs

And handing out free slimy hugs

And chanting “Slug Lives Matter.”

High above, against the odds,

Someone applauds the gastropods

And, thinking they are modern gods,

Eat escargot and grow fatter.

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The Dream MLK Forgot

She showed a sign and shouted

And got up in our faces

Telling us about how white folks

Are the worst of all the races.

The way her spittle spattered

Was a most impressive sight,

My first and last impression

Of a peaceful Portland night.

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In Recent News…

There once was a Peruvian prince

Who wore a gold pair of nez pince.

He said “I have seen

“Info about Jeff Epstein,”

And no one has heard from him since…

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It’s A Mystery!

I don’t get why some folks don’t like me.

I do all the things that they say

Like supporting the wenches and slant-eyes and injuns

And even my cousin who’s gay.

I don’t get why people think I am offensive

When all thems is stupid and fat.

I guess they must envy my skills in the kitchen…

Those Jews don’t know how to cook rat!

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