I was in the white house and I was like “Hey
“Let’s inject everybody with some MRNA.”
And the people who know science was all up like “Nah”
But the uneducated populace was like “Vax up brah.”
I know you MAGA people be on Instagram hatin’
On how my administration is fixated on mandatin’
Figurin’ it isn’t shots but God who gives you redemption,
But my bureaucrats denyin’ your religious exemption!
Filed under Poems
There was a, um, a a a flower?
And it has, you know, plants,
And some are yellow and some are blue
But that doesn’t change that they’re green
On their, um, stalks or stems or something.
And when I smell them
Wait, they said don’t say smelling…
Flowers are green and and and thank you good morning!
Filed under Poems
If ever there were a day
To say Joe Biden died
And Kamala was the pres now
And would be preside with pride
Just to test the public
To see how they react
It would be April 1st I guess.
Abloo scaree kerack.
Filed under Poems
Roses are red.
The worst sport is soccer.
Biden’s the pres’
Just like Rey’s a Skywalker.
Filed under Poems
Today, America extends a query
To test the ever-popular theory
And forever end the debate
About whether love is stronger than hate.
We’re given two men with no virtues to note
And told it’s important to go out and vote.
One choice is to vote that you love Barron’s dad,
Or else just to vote that you think “Orange Man Bad.”
As for the white guy who’ll earn half the votes
Who creeps people out and has quotable quotes…
One guy will win, half the nation will cry,
And celebrities still won’t move to Canada… sigh.
Filed under Poems
Whenever death may lurk nearby
And threaten you with pain
Know that if the threat is true
You’ll never watch a debate again…
Filed under Poems
They see me Biden,
Debatin’
And rolling their eyes ’cause I’m so far past thirty!
‘Cause I’m just too far past thirty,
‘Cause I’m just too far past thirty,
‘Cause I’m just too far past thirty,
‘Cause I’m just too far past thirty,
I said they ain’t black
Like I’m not
Perhaps ’cause my mind is somewhat less than sturdy!
‘Cause my mind is leas than sturdy,
‘Cause my mind is leas than sturdy,
My mind is less than sturdy…
‘Cause my mind is leas than sturdy!
Sniffin’ the babies just for fun
While I say you don’t need no gun,
Tellin’ how our country’s run,
Then runnin’ my mouth when it’s said and done.
Tara Reade told some news site
What I did back then was not alright,
But poor kids are just as good as the white.
Good thing Bernie backed away from the fight.
Don’t worry if I’ve got some dementia
‘Cause I’ll designate yo job as essentia’.
Sure my kid’s salary’s preferentia’,
But CNN’s sure to bury the stench, duh.
I love having kids sitting on my lap,
I’ll do Zoom campaigns after my next nap,
You’ll vote for me despite this crap.
By the way, what the heck’s an app?
Filed under Poems
One world leader said
“Grab ’em by the pussy,”
But got elected anyway.
One would-be leader
Said “Don’t grab ’em by the pussy”
Before he did, so I guess he’s okay?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 