Tag Archives: Postaday

Board Games In Baltimore

We sat down to play

The latest version of Clue,

Read through the rulebook

To check what was new,

Saw a new character

Named “Mr. Not-White”

And we shouted “Case closed”

And called it a night.

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…Or Girls In General, For That Matter

“The devil plays the violin,

The instrument of mortal sin.”

I told her this, then said hello.

#How to not pick up girls who play cello

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Mom Was Right

There comes a time in our epoch

When you face the toughest of fights,

You, insignificant human

Alone with the crusher of lights,

A few hundred pounds of soft tissue

Versus a beast from which no one can hide

But you have one ally to help you:

You can turn off the screen and go outside.

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Shakespeares’s Cat

Kitty kitty

Of my heart,

Who’s a good cat?

Verily, thou art!

I say to thee

A coochy-coo

For who art the cutest?

‘Tis you! ‘Tis you!

Kitty kitty

Ball of fur,

What pleasures come

When you doth purr!

My only wish

For you is yon:

Do sheath your claws

‘Till break of dawn.

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If You Think This Poem Rhymes You Probably Aren’t Rich

You can tell if someone’s more likely

To play basketball or the harp

By whether they write #F

Or instead they write F#

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Guys and Dolls, Mother Russia Edition

I once went shopping at the mall

With a Russian guy and a Russian doll.

The Russian guy could reach the top shelf

But the Russian doll was too full of herself.

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Lent Carols

Silent bells, silent bells,

Silent all the way.

We’re not happy but at least

The priests don’t know we’re gay. Hey!

Silent bells, silent bells,

Silence for the win!

Here’s to seven weeks to stew

In our original sin!

Silent night, holy night.

Jesus ate not a bite.

Satan says “make that rock into bread.”

Jesus’s like “Naw, I’ll come back from the dead.”

Then he gave up Facebook!

(If you doubt it go read the good book).

On the first day of Lent

Jehovah gave to me…

Hot sand and misery!

On the second day of lent

Jehovah gave to me

No 🤬ing food

And some hot sand and misery!

On the third day of Lent

Jehovah gave to me…

(Use your imagination, we’ve got 38 more days of this 💩)!

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