Tag Archives: Postaday

Watch As This Somehow Violates The Wordpress Terms Of Service…

If you see an ad

Anywhere around this page

Do not click on it.

Advertisers don’t

Pay me to be on my site.

That gives me no joy.

But if I offend

All the advertising firms

They might go away.

Thus all these haiku

Warning you not to click on

Those cheap f#%^ers’ ads.

Advertisements

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White Privilege 2.0

Despite meeting a cannibal

I feel pretty good.

I was scared until he said

That he liked Chinese food.

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Lettuce Feast

Salads are bad.

We know this because

The dressing industry exists to hide

How bad your salad was.

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My Little League Career

Like the full moon’s silhouette

In the cloudless morning sky

The baseball whispered through the air

And smacked me in the eye.

It’s not a good analogy

Nor a comfortable event

But it gets the basic point across

Of how the ballgame went.

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Like Duck Puns… BUT BETTER đź”Ą

If you want a large-beaked bird

A pelican will do.

If you want a big-beaked philosopher

Then Peli Kant’s for you.

If you want a big-beaked marsupial

Try pelikangaroo.

If you want other big-beaked puns…

You guessed it: Pelican-do.

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Charisma 18, Dexterity 1

Abraham Lincoln,

The breaker of chains:

‘Twas he who guided

America’s reigns,

Who heralded vict’ry

And ended much strife

But couldn’t dodge a bullet

To save his life.

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Quick Thoughts On Bad Drivers

Justice

I think we all agree that it’s

A terrible fate to drown

But I still wish it on those

Who pass me then slow down.

——————————————————–

Bumper Stickers:

It have noticed that

People honk for Jesus more

When I text my friends.

——————————————————–

Self-Awareness

If you see a car with the hazard lights on

It’s probably my Grandma Ruth.

She’s not a very good driver

But she always tells the truth.

——————————————————–

You Do It Too…

My pinky and ring-finger rise

And my upward palm is flat,

The universal symbol

Of “What the fuck was that?”

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