There was a fantabulous spy
Who was put in a death trap to die.
His life then did cease
And the world knew no peace.
If you’ve never heard of him, that’s why.
Tag Archives: Postaday
Big Brother
I accidentally deleted
My browser history
And yet the pages I visit
Show the same ads to me
About the things I’ve talked about
But never searched online
So forgive we while I move under this rock
And live there… I’ll be fine.
Filed under Poems
How To Be Popular
If I had breath like Godzilla
And my sneeze were a nuclear blast
I still wouldn’t like playing kickball
But at least I’d get picked before last.
Filed under Poems
“Noble”
There once was a noble chihuahua
Whose owner was trapped in the shower.
He flew like an ace
To bite her on the face
Then barked nonstop for 24 hours.
Filed under Poems
Writer’s Strike or Poetic Justice?
I’m not sure which is better:
That Hollywood is on strike
Because computers can do their job better
And that they do not like
And now we won’t have any more
Reboots, remakes, or sequels?
Or that we finally see mindless machines
As movie writers’ equals?
Filed under Poems
DC Smoothies: Now Made With 100% Sustainably Harvested Peasant Tears
It is a truth we find self-evident
That the people who make the laws
Are the type to drink turtle smoothies
With biodegradable straws.
Filed under Poems
An Old-School Love Poem For The Woman Who Inspired My “Art”
Good morning Mom!
You are the bomb.
You made me exist
Before the CD Rom.
Today we shower you
With abundant aplomb.
You are the WWW
To my .com
You make delicious food
That I like to nom
And you are someone onto whom
I do like to glom.
I promise I’ll never leave you
To move away to Guam
Because I’m your favorite child
And you’re my best Mom.
Filed under Poems
She Played Another Game With Me…
Her epic trapper spidey
Killed my supersonic bat-dragon.
Apparently the divorce is off
And we’re back to love and naggin’!
Filed under Poems
And You Thought Monopoly Ruined Friendships…
My magic thunder doggy
Killed my fiancee’s fairy horse.
Yes, she played Pokemon with me.
Yes, we’re headed for divorce.
Filed under Poems
Travelogue, Volume 2
I flew home on a plane through the air
Then I drove in a car on a road.
Now I’m sitting butt-down on a chair
And my creativity has yet to fully load.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 