Tag Archives: Postaday

And That’s The Truth?

At 5:00 AM I woke up

And went for a three-mile run.

At 6:00 AM I wrote a love note

To my honeybun.

At 7:00 AM I had breakfast:

Gold-plated caviar.

At 1:20 PM I lied in a poem

And that’s my day so far!

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Tell Me This Doesn’t Rhyme!

Ding Chang was changing his password

To 🈚️🈶🈷️🈸🈺

But Google called it invalid

So instead he wrote 🈚️🈶🈷️🈸🈵

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Meanwhile, At Netflix Headquarters…

In Japan they make cartoons

With people named Jojo or Light…

And even though they’re Japanese

The characters are all white…

But when we film an adaptation

Fans of the original are mad

Because we only hired white actors

And, apparently, that’s bad?

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A side effect of internet

Expanding the nobodies’ voices

Is what were once called parodies

Are now called valid choices.

Opinions so abhorrent

That no one would speak in person

Are fodder for hysteria,

A fate I fear will worsen.

No civil conversation

Can withstand the hate of distance,

And leaving online life

May be the only sane resistance.

What evidence have I

That things are dire as I claim?

Well, someone unironically

Wrote “Firefly is lame.”

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It’s Not The Size… It’s The Personality

Here’s to all the porcupines

Who smile from behind their spines.

How they reproduce may you-befuddle,

As might how, afterwards, they cuddle.

One thing that I know for certain

Is neither partner ends up hurtin’

Which is more than I can say

For every woman I’ve had. Yay!

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Why Fictional Japan Is Objectively The Best Country

On TV, the blue-haired girl

Is innocent and kind.

She cooks and cleans and loves you

For your heart, not your behind.

She’s fearful, but she conquers it;

Was blind, but now she sees.

In real life, the blue-haired girl

Thinks men are a disease.

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Or Do I…?

Apathy’s amazing!

It’s the best a mood can get!

It’s so great that I don’t care

That I don’t get it yet!

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