My financial situation
Is eating this rodent whole.
They told me I should “gopher broke.”
Alas, I’m just a mole.
Tag Archives: Postaday
Reality TV
Paultry poultry,
Culprit cuddles,
The clasping asps,
And more;
With all these titles
Floating around,
We still get “My 600-pound life.”
What for?
Filed under Poems
Cubism
I complained about my cubicle,
Saying it was too small,
And since it was rectangular
Was not a cube at all.
Now I’m living in a box
In back alley, USA.
I guess complaining didn’t help,
But my box is a cube, so yay?
Filed under Poems
Superheroic Privilege
Flying to a new address
When I hear a stranger in distress.
Oh wait, I recognize that guy!
Let’s save a different passerby…
Filed under Poems
Wet on Earth?
My garden was wilting
Despite all my silting.
I fert’lized my petunias
The best I was able.
But they still needed water
As the weather got hotter,
And I needed the water
For my guests at the table.
I promised my flowers
The sky would bring showers,
But the weather betrayed me,
And rain it did not.
So I knelt o’er my buds
And sobbed, making muds.
I never expected
That on film this was caught.
I next day I found
In HD and with sound
That my gardening venture
Had three million hits.
I became very wealthy
And my flowers got healthy
‘Cause now I bought water
And new fertilizing shits.
And when I am dead
With dirt o’er my head
And people shed tears
On top of my grave,
I hope they play that vid
Of when I was a kid
And could not work a hose.
Then they’d have a rave.
Filed under Poems
Heck’s Angels
Have you heard the low thrum
Of a dozen mopeds
Cresting the rise of a hill?
The carry an air
Of environmental concern,
And always pay their bill.
The drink microbrews,
Read the Huffington post,
And ride to protest warming weather.
They want to be safe,
But they won’t kill a cow,
So instead they’re decked out in fruit leather.
They’ve occupied Wall Street
And conquered small towns.
They adopted Obamacare early.
They wear handmade bling
And fair trade hemp socks
And, only on Facebook, act surly.
And then with a puff
Of carbon-free smoke
They pedal away once again.
They’re Al Gore’s private army,
The Heck’s Angels gang,
Inclusive of GBT men.
Filed under Poems
Strategy Meeting
I watch my life go by
In factors of sixty.
That little rotating stick,
The flashing colon,
The unending count
Of passing seconds.
No matter how angry the birds,
How many temples I fail to escape,
Or how many aces lay buried
Beneath twos of their own suit,
The hand will not speed up.
My hopes, and my battery, are dead.
When will this meeting end?
Filed under Poems
Anonymous Donor
I have a fountain on my porch.
It’s one I never bought.
I have a fountain in my truck
That, on the road, I caught.
I’ve got twelve fountains all in all.
New ones turn up now and then.
I keep them safe in my back yard,
Within my fountain pen.
Filed under Poems
A Day At The Beach
A dog and his man
Hopped into a van
And drove down to the ocean.
The dog jumped in the surf
And rolled in the turf
While the man put on suntan lotion.
The man made sand castles,
The dog ate some tassles.
They both watched a volleyball game.
The dog chased rubber balls
And peed on brick walls,
And the man covertly did the same.
The man and his doggy
Wet, dirty, and soggy,
Hopped back in their automobile.
And they drove back home,
Covered in sand and loam,
With the dog in control of the wheel.
Filed under Poems
The Best I’ve Got
A panda, a koala,
A grizzly, and a pooh
Walked into the city
After they left the zoo.
They walked into a bar
And all ordered a coke.
This isn’t much of a poem,
Nor is it much of a joke.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 