Warlords might not be
The sensitive type,
Not ones to use shampoo
Or lotions,
But they’re a lot better
Than pacifists
Who are racist
Against certain oceans.
Tag Archives: Puns
A Oui Problem…
When I discovered my gender-neutral parent
Was not my biological dad
I realized it was quite the faux pa.
Yes, this poem is bad.
Filed under Poems
Extremely Forced Naughty Jokes Are Tight!
It might mean very different things
When I say to my girlfriend
“I still can’t understand you,”
Followed by: “Come again?”
Filed under Poems
They Called It “Animal Control Headquarters”
I went to the zoo.
There was only one dog there.
It was a shih tzu.
Filed under Poems
Why I’m Not A P.I.
If you try to stalk someone
And eventually fail
It would be worth your time
To work some retail.
Filed under Poems
Spa Ha Ha
I asked how much it costs
To get one’s pubic region waxed.
They said “A Brazilian dollars,”
At which point I relaxed.
Filed under Poems
Jurass-is-Grass
The Tyrannosaurus Rex
Was stalking the jungle
And feeling incredibly violent
When, soundless and yellow,
Urine hit the fellow
For the Pterodactyl’s pee is silent.
Filed under Poems
Discover Why Mexicans Use Visa*
“Black guys play the black card.”
That’s how white people said it
Before they made the Master Card
And gave themselves the credit.
*This poem contains no mention of American Express because I couldn’t think of a good “Underground Railroad” joke, and also no one uses American Express.
Filed under Poems
When You Catch Someone’s Eye(s)…
Tonight I came to realize
That if you see the world through another’s eyes
You might see, through this new view,
That someone made a horror movie based on the sick, eye-stealing you.
Filed under Poems
She Did Not Laugh Throatily
She asked me for a diamond necklace.
I gave her a diamond whose shoulders touch its head.
She asked me for a diamond necklace
But I gave her a diamond neckless instead.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 