Men want to talk about grape yogurt.
Women want to talk about patriarchy.
Men like talking about grape culture.
Feminists dislike the letter “G.”
Tag Archives: Puns
Plot Twist: They’re Canadian
My ducks were quacking noisily,
Apparently upset.
That’s as close to “In a row”
As my ducks ever get.
Filed under Poems
Mother’s Always Right
My mother told me
“You know you’ve hit rock bottom
“When you spank statues.”
Filed under Poems
But What Was He Wearing? (Breathes Heavily)
Obi Wan Kenobi
Was arrested yesterday.
He force-pushed a clone trooper
Who had been in his way.
“In my defense, the trooper
“Was swearing as I recall,”
Said Obi Wan, the Jedi
Who made an obscene clone fall.
Filed under Poems
At The Drei Goods Store
I met an old man born in 1919,
A genuine centenarian.
He was burdened with many a bag
So I helped the man with some carryin’.
His bags were filled with red cabbage
And I asked “Are you vegetarian?”
Turns out he fought in World War II;
He was a veteran aryan.
Filed under Poems
Hey Batter Batter…
I’m my softball league’s head chef;
For optimal nutrition
I like to make a Bundt cake
To get guys in a scoring position.
Filed under Poems
Watch Yourself
Please keep the word mum
‘Cause I did something dumb:
I ordered a clock.
Now at my door, a knock!
I fear my time has come…
Filed under Poems
But How Many Decimal Places?
I once knew a shepherd named Sadie
Whose business was just a touch shady.
She had 79 sheep
When she went to sleep
Then she rounded them up and had 80.
Filed under Poems
Distressed Jeans of History, Vol. 1
An Ancient Greek found trousers
With holes torn in the knees.
He held them up for passers-by
Asking, “Euripides?”
Filed under Poems
Bless Me Son, For I Done Sinned
A while ago I wrote a poem
About how to be your own son.
Recently, through Jesus,
I wrote another one:
If you are a grandfather
Of your son’s male offspring
I’m happy to report that you
Can do an exciting thing…
If your son joins the clergy
As a Presbyterian
And you go to his church
Your grandkid is your Father’s son.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 