Obi Wan Kenobi
Was arrested yesterday.
He force-pushed a clone trooper
Who had been in his way.
“In my defense, the trooper
“Was swearing as I recall,”
Said Obi Wan, the Jedi
Who made an obscene clone fall.
Tag Archives: Puns
At The Drei Goods Store
I met an old man born in 1919,
A genuine centenarian.
He was burdened with many a bag
So I helped the man with some carryin’.
His bags were filled with red cabbage
And I asked “Are you vegetarian?”
Turns out he fought in World War II;
He was a veteran aryan.
Filed under Poems
Hey Batter Batter…
I’m my softball league’s head chef;
For optimal nutrition
I like to make a Bundt cake
To get guys in a scoring position.
Filed under Poems
Watch Yourself
Please keep the word mum
‘Cause I did something dumb:
I ordered a clock.
Now at my door, a knock!
I fear my time has come…
Filed under Poems
But How Many Decimal Places?
I once knew a shepherd named Sadie
Whose business was just a touch shady.
She had 79 sheep
When she went to sleep
Then she rounded them up and had 80.
Filed under Poems
Distressed Jeans of History, Vol. 1
An Ancient Greek found trousers
With holes torn in the knees.
He held them up for passers-by
Asking, “Euripides?”
Filed under Poems
Bless Me Son, For I Done Sinned
A while ago I wrote a poem
About how to be your own son.
Recently, through Jesus,
I wrote another one:
If you are a grandfather
Of your son’s male offspring
I’m happy to report that you
Can do an exciting thing…
If your son joins the clergy
As a Presbyterian
And you go to his church
Your grandkid is your Father’s son.
Filed under Poems
When You Break Up / Lines In A Poem / So It Looks Longer / Than It Really / Is
Warlords might not be
The sensitive type,
Not ones to use shampoo
Or lotions,
But they’re a lot better
Than pacifists
Who are racist
Against certain oceans.
Filed under Poems
A Oui Problem…
When I discovered my gender-neutral parent
Was not my biological dad
I realized it was quite the faux pa.
Yes, this poem is bad.
Filed under Poems
Extremely Forced Naughty Jokes Are Tight!
It might mean very different things
When I say to my girlfriend
“I still can’t understand you,”
Followed by: “Come again?”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 