When old ladies are lonely
And they need some warmth and love
They have a pair of choices:
They can seek help from above
Or they can buy a bunch of cats.
Whichever one they pick
Usually results in them
Becoming a catholic.
Tag Archives: Puns
This Is My New Favorite Synonym For Buttcrack
I looked at the thong and what it covered
(Or more of what it didn’t hide).
I saw that arcing crack and had to ask
The most pressing question: “Butt Y?”
Filed under Poems
When It Snows On Your Parade?
I used to have a whole bunch of dice
But I can’t find two of them now.
I suppose that means it’s a pair o’ dice lost?
(Yes, this is a pun. Anyhow…)
Filed under Poems
Getting Dressed
There once was a skirt from Jerusalem
That wanted to grow its vertical some.
It tried adding a shirt
But it turns out the skirt
Might have needed a dress rehearsal., hm?
Filed under Poems
Dear Christians… There Is Only One
Let me introduce myself:
My name is Danny Michael.
I’m a circus performer
And I ride the unicycle.
I’m glad you guys are happy
But imagine how you’d feel
If you were me, and you kept telling
Jesus to take the wheel…
Filed under Poems
You’d Think He Was Arrested For Steel-ing… But No
I created a robot who creates electricity
By eating crackers. He’s chattery
But alas his social life was cut short
When he was charged with a saltine battery.
Filed under Poems
That Would Probably Bug Him
I think when the Buddha slept
He gave thanks for having grand wits
And also that no one referred to him
As Mr. Praying Man-Tits.
Filed under Poems
Softball Questions
There once was a baseball glove
Who, with a human, fell in love.
You may doubt, but I’ll confirm it:
They lived together, but he’s a her mitt.
Filed under Poems
No Pain, No Gawain
I am getting sleepy
And I open wide to yawn,
Then I march into my bedroom
And put plate armor on.
My chainmail hugs me tightly
And I fall into a heap…
This is what I have to do
To get a good knight’s sleep.
Filed under Poems
Aztec Millennials
Two cannibals awoke on Sunday
And went for brunch at a cafe.
One said “I’ve got a hunch
“That the real brunch
“Is the friends we’ll meet along the way.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 