Cookies for breakfast,
Pizza for lunch,
Twelve donuts for dinner,
But I did one crunch!
Filed under Poems
I asked, “Jerry, how do I
“Improve my upper body strength?”
He said, “A bench press
“Is a good place to start, Mark.”
I thought of his advice
And pondered it at length,
Then I grabbed my iron
And went to the city park.
I told the people and the pigeons
That they must depart,
Then I pressed into that bench
Until the steam had all but ceased.
I still have a weak torso
But Jerry said that it’s a start,
And even so I must admit
The bench looks better creased.
Filed under Poems
If they’re doing yoga,
Zumba, jazzercise or such
You’re likely in the Estrogym
And have a woman’s touch.
If they’re watching football games
And opening a beer
You’re gym is the Testosterzone,
The palace of good cheer.
Filed under Poems
He’s running backwards on the treadmill,
She’s failing to do a squat,
And that guy with the free weights
Is doing who know’s what.
They try not to laugh at her
And not to stare at him.
It’s every fit guy’s nightmare:
January at the gym.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 