Jen lost ten pounds through exercise.
Steve lost twenty by changing his diet.
I lost sixty pounds when my tapeworm came out
But Jen and Steve are too chicken to try it.
Tag Archives: Fitness
Realistic Fitness Goals
I went back to the gym today,
Got my badge, and paid my way
So I can flex my body parts
That got flabby ‘cause I do arts.
I will go at least once more
‘Cause I paid for months-comma-four.
I’ll get my Summer body, y’all
Just in time for the start of Fall!
Filed under Poems
#Fitness
Cookies for breakfast,
Pizza for lunch,
Twelve donuts for dinner,
But I did one crunch!
Filed under Poems
Exercise in the Park
I asked, “Jerry, how do I
“Improve my upper body strength?”
He said, “A bench press
“Is a good place to start, Mark.”
I thought of his advice
And pondered it at length,
Then I grabbed my iron
And went to the city park.
I told the people and the pigeons
That they must depart,
Then I pressed into that bench
Until the steam had all but ceased.
I still have a weak torso
But Jerry said that it’s a start,
And even so I must admit
The bench looks better creased.
Filed under Poems
How to Choose a Fitness Club
If they’re doing yoga,
Zumba, jazzercise or such
You’re likely in the Estrogym
And have a woman’s touch.
If they’re watching football games
And opening a beer
You’re gym is the Testosterzone,
The palace of good cheer.
Filed under Poems
Why My Fitness Starts In February
He’s running backwards on the treadmill,
She’s failing to do a squat,
And that guy with the free weights
Is doing who know’s what.
They try not to laugh at her
And not to stare at him.
It’s every fit guy’s nightmare:
January at the gym.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 