Jen lost ten pounds through exercise.
Steve lost twenty by changing his diet.
I lost sixty pounds when my tapeworm came out
But Jen and Steve are too chicken to try it.
Jen lost ten pounds through exercise.
Steve lost twenty by changing his diet.
I lost sixty pounds when my tapeworm came out
But Jen and Steve are too chicken to try it.
Filed under Poems
I went back to the gym today,
Got my badge, and paid my way
So I can flex my body parts
That got flabby ‘cause I do arts.
I will go at least once more
‘Cause I paid for months-comma-four.
I’ll get my Summer body, y’all
Just in time for the start of Fall!
Filed under Poems
Cookies for breakfast,
Pizza for lunch,
Twelve donuts for dinner,
But I did one crunch!
Filed under Poems
I asked, “Jerry, how do I
“Improve my upper body strength?”
He said, “A bench press
“Is a good place to start, Mark.”
I thought of his advice
And pondered it at length,
Then I grabbed my iron
And went to the city park.
I told the people and the pigeons
That they must depart,
Then I pressed into that bench
Until the steam had all but ceased.
I still have a weak torso
But Jerry said that it’s a start,
And even so I must admit
The bench looks better creased.
Filed under Poems
If they’re doing yoga,
Zumba, jazzercise or such
You’re likely in the Estrogym
And have a woman’s touch.
If they’re watching football games
And opening a beer
You’re gym is the Testosterzone,
The palace of good cheer.
Filed under Poems
He’s running backwards on the treadmill,
She’s failing to do a squat,
And that guy with the free weights
Is doing who know’s what.
They try not to laugh at her
And not to stare at him.
It’s every fit guy’s nightmare:
January at the gym.
Filed under Poems