I really hope for chaos’ sake
That the cure for Covid be
The presence of police
Because, well, blessed irony!
Tag Archives: Short
Manly Sea Captain Poems
I was a pirate cap’n
A’sail upon the sea
And I’d laugh at the other ships
When they would try to flee.
I’d sail up behind ’em
And though they might protest
I’d grab ’em by the booty
At my cap’nly behest!
——————————————————–
When your captain is a man
“Land ho!” is often said.
When your captain isn’t
They shout “Land, hoe!” Instead.
——————————————————–
When I became a captain
I quit being a virgin
Thanks to an encounter
That I had with a sturgeon!
Filed under Poems
When You Disagree By Not Agreeing To Agree To Disagree
He asked ten people if among them
One would disagree.
Nine said yes, that’s how it works.
The tenth person was me.
Filed under Poems
My Solution To School Shootings (Until They Clone Chuck Norris)
They should clone Queen Elizabeth
14 billion times
So we can all have immortal bodyguards…
It’s true and it rhymes!
Filed under Poems
In Recent News…
There once was a Peruvian prince
Who wore a gold pair of nez pince.
He said “I have seen
“Info about Jeff Epstein,”
And no one has heard from him since…
Filed under Poems
Live ‘n Learn
The Genie asked, “What’s your last wish?”
I said, “I wanna fly!”
It got eaten by a frog
And now I enunciate more clearly.
Filed under Poems
SCIENCE!
Some people are happy to be born in July
But I say those people are wrong;
Objectively, a January birthday is the best
‘Cause then you don’t have to wait as long.
Poet Who Kicked Tires Hospitalized With Foot Injury
They said they found the car for me,
Right in my price range.
A week later I totaled it
When I got an oil change.
Filed under Poems
Go Cry To… Oops
There’s nothing anyone can say
That won’t offend another.
For instance, if you say
That you live with your mother
Women call you loser,
Men will say you suck,
And orphans will be pissed
Because some guys get all the luck.
Filed under Poems
So The Nuclear Button Might Bring Them Back?
Maybe, just maybe
Dragons aren’t here anymore
Because they breathed fire
But now the sky is full of air?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 