I think when the Buddha slept
He gave thanks for having grand wits
And also that no one referred to him
As Mr. Praying Man-Tits.
Tag Archives: Short
It’s Like “Plop” And I Just Met My Weight-Loss Goal
Sure, falling in love is satisfying
But have you ever had a poop where you thought
Everything in life was good again?
Apparently the music business has not.
Filed under Poems
And It Has Zero Calories!
I’ve invented a new cocktail
That’s a lot like a White Russian
But without the vodka, liqueur, cream, or ice.
It’s called a “Political Discussion”.
Filed under Poems
The Ends Justify The Means
I think the government should give everyone
A tiger to keep as a pet. Sure,
A lot of dumb people might become Fancy Feast
But traffic would be so much better!
Filed under Poems
I Could Go On, But I Don’t Want To Peacock
I wish we called colors by animal names
Because it’s infinitely more awesome
To paint a car shark instead of just grey
Or pour cream ‘til your coffee is possum.
Filed under Poems
Limerick for a Job Interview
There once was a gap in a resumé
That occurred when the candidate was away
‘Cause when you’ve had enough crap
Turns out a resumé gap
Can be just what you need. Okay?
Filed under Poems
An Accurate Portrayal Of Tension Is Limited By The Medium Of Expression
I’m on bad wifi
Trying to publish a post
But I think it might…
Filed under Poems
Root Beer
It’s brown, sweet, and bubbly
With plenty of fuzz
And it foams when you pour it
‘Cause that’s what it does.
But why I really love it
Is it’s the only thing that never
Appears in advertisements
Anywhere, ever!
Filed under Poems
A Political Prodigy
I think my daughter will be president
Because she’s only three years old
And already knows how to tell everyone
To shut up and do as they’re told.
Filed under Poems
Softball Questions
There once was a baseball glove
Who, with a human, fell in love.
You may doubt, but I’ll confirm it:
They lived together, but he’s a her mitt.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 