I bought a leaf blower the other day
And my trees are so happy it’s crazy.
I asked one tree “Why do you smile at me?”
Tree said, “Well, my wife’s gotten lazy…”
Tag Archives: Short
Government In A Nutshell
“Can we all agree…”
“No! You didn’t vote like me!”
“…That kittens are cute?”
Filed under Poems
Goodness Me, Is That More Than 100 BPM My Good Sir?
When your heart beats really fast
That’s tachycardia
(Or so the doctors would have you believe).
But if your heart beats quickly
And you’re upper-middle class
It’s classycardia. (Ok, I’ll leave)
Filed under Poems
Pronunciation Matters
The church tells us
That prejudice is bad.
On the other hand, pre-Judas
Were the best years Jesus had.
It’s A Product And A Profession (Not Cannibals… The Other Bit)
Cannibals be like:
“Poultry farmers over there!“
“Chicken tenders! Yum!”
Filed under Poems
Innocence Dies First, Closely Followed By Spontaneity
Being an adult
Means you schedule things like sex
And video games
I Write While Sleepy On The Couch Before I Go To My Bed To Not Fall Asleep For Half An Hour
It’s bedtime again.
Tomorrow I go to work.
Life is Groundhog Day.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 