When the robots start a war
It won’t be any fun,
But I can safely predict the final score
Will be zero to one.
Tag Archives: Short
I Could Just Eat You Up…
They called me the goat,
Which would be fine, except they’re
A birria chef.
Filed under Poems
Salmonella? More Like Scamonella
Eat raw cookie dough;
It’s basically sushi for
Happy chubby kids.
Filed under Poems
Fir Real
I opened up a shop today
To sell yew trees to all.
I planted the woods last Spring
And I’ll close the shop this fall.
Unfortunately, my business plan
Still has a few crossed wires:
As it turns out, only Yew
Can prevent forest buyers.
Filed under Poems
The New Tide Pod Challenge
Rolling office chair
Can reach 50 MPH
If you try enough.
Filed under Poems
Untold Abe Lincoln Story
They said “Be the change you want to see”
And I was about to imagine bliss
Then you asked, “Penny for your thoughts”
And whoops! I’m stuck like this!
Filed under Poems
Grandpa’s Advice Column
Every problem in the world
Can be solved with one of these:
WD-40, a well-timed bullet,
Or a bag of frozen peas.
Filed under Poems
What Ever Happened To Manners?
Sometimes I ask myself
“Is talking to myself weird?”
Then some guy next to me says
“Yes”
And my internal monologue and I
Make knowing eye contact
And just walk away from Mr-All-About-Me.
Filed under Poems
I Present: The “Dumb Scientist” Paradox
I am very dense.
If I were an element
I’d be Osmium.
Filed under Poems
Country Music
I like guns and I like trucks
And I like hunting ten-point bucks
But I don’t like moonshine or beer
So I’ll stop your banjo solo here.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 