“People can’t be trusted
“To govern themselves.”
Thus spake the many to you.
“But we, the incompetent
“Untrustworthy many
“Have the wisdom to pick those who’ll do.”
And so those who can’t govern
Pick from among them
An elite narcissistic few
And that, my dear readers,
Is why we the people
Are quite democratically screwed.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Her skin was white and milky
Like a lump of unchurned butter.
Her hair was soft and silky
Like a smooth something-or-utter.
She lived with seven midgets
With ironic, mood-based names.
She gave me a case of the fidgets
And set my life aflame…
Bitch.
Filed under Poems
You’re going to spend
The rest of your life
Drinking water solely
To transform into pee.
Instead get hydrated
The new, better way:
*Insert catchy jingle*
Come get an IV!
Filed under Poems
I’m just sayin’.
Feel free to weigh in.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Today is my birthday.
I’m seven days old.
From now on when they tell me
“Park the DeLorean”
I’ll do what I’m told.
Filed under Poems
There’s this fellow they call Y.I.
Everyone wants to F him, but why?
Filed under Poems
Sum folks dont knead it.
Other folks dew.
Eye’m speaking of coarse
Of voice two text apps. Dew ewe?
Filed under Poems
It’s the summer time
And it isn’t snowing.
The house needs cleaning,
The grass meeds mowing.
There’s no place to park
And the clouds have gone gray
But my heart’s light and sunny
‘Cause I neuter and spay.
Filed under Poems
I have a pet dog
Named “Bounty Hunter.”
I have a pet cow named “Hog.”
I’ve got to say
It’s easier
To find a good name for a dog.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 