Tag Archives: Libertarian

The Nasty Aftertastes Of Society That Won’t Go Away

I feel like at this point

Most people would agree the

Invention of social media

Was a really bad idea,

While at the same time saying

“We can do nothing about it”

And most of those agree

That they could not live without it.

The same has gone for junk food,

Fancy coffee, cigarettes:

We consume them faster

Than we process our regrets.

I look forward to the day

When we look at that list

And add the important footnote

That governments shouldn’t exist.

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If The Analogy Works Dat Thang…

Remember Mandy the stripper?

The one who showed you her rear

Before she leaned in close to you

And whispered in your ear,

“You’re the one I’m dancing for,”

So you slip her 20 bucks?

That’s basically how the government works

And why I say it sucks.

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If At First You Don’t Succeed…

Eight months ago the plague began

And this is what we did:

We locked the doors and bought TP

And then, for months, we hid.

And when we ate and pooped too much

We ventured out once more,

And so it was the first lockdown

Was written in the lore.

But when the lockdown ended

It seemed the plague had not,

And it was clear the lockdown

Had not a new peace brought.

It hadn’t worked, and so the leaders

Gathered to discuss

What they could say to guarantee

Obedience from us.

What the leaders settled on

Is really rather zen:

“It didn’t work the first time,

“So let’s do the same again!”

And many of the people

Went along without a fight

Because the folks with titles

Told them, “This will make it right.”

Meanwhile, the maskless multitude

Possessing common sense

Said politely, “Thanks, no thanks.”

And thus the world grew tense…

And now a civil war of sorts

‘Tween masked and naked faces

Will not subside regardless of

How numerous the cases.

And all of this could be escaped

If one would simply say

“Do as you will with who you want

“And please respect my way.”

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This Goes For Taxes As Well, Except A Mugger Might Use The Money For Something Valuable

If you get mugged in central park

And think it isn’t fair

Just call it a “mandatory donation

“To ensuring criminal welfare.”

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Not Racist, Just Comfy

I find it funny that those who fought

For an inclusive ideology

Now think that those with “normal” thoughts

Owe outsiders apologies,

That those who culturally kill their kind

Are morally superior

To those who really do not mind

If you’re black, a chick, or queerier,

That while we wear our pale skin

And external genitalia

If we don’t call these things a sin

Then somehow you think we failed ya.

But I’m content and keen to keep

My straight white male role.

My life I live, my crops I reap

In a neighborhood safe to stroll.

So if you wave your protest signs

They’ll not change how I see.

You will not find me cryin’

Because I know it’s fine to be me.

So please don’t give me an earful.

I’m happy being cheerful.

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I Am The Paladin Of Unpopular Opinions: Hear Me Speak Semi-Audibly 

I hate to say, but modern times

Have brought to bear such modern crimes

As the thought that changing what we call bad things

Will make them fly away on silver wings.

Amidst PC culture’s genital diminution  

I seek to find an ancient solution

Because I doubt folks in Pompeii

Said “That eruption’s a hot social event for the end of your day!”

Some say the truth will set you free,

That the ultimate good is reality.

I like to think those things are true,

But no one told the local SJW.

So I’ll just be honest on this, my blog

To cut through society’s “minimally exceptional” fog.

And if you get offended by hearing what’s true

I bet there’s a polite alternative name out there for you.

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A Treatise On Cooperation With Government… Sort Of

Two children sit and watch a thing

That’s orange and round and fun.

One says “it’s warm and so it must

“Be a piece of fallen sun.”

One says “I can slam dunk it

“So it’s a basketball.”

Another says “it’s a tangerine!

“Do you know nothing at all?”

And I, with silent others, watch

Them call a pizza many names.

Some kids voted between them

When the appropriate moment came,

Yet I, when shown a pizza

And was asked “robot or duck?”

Didn’t vote for either answer

Because dishonest answers suck.

As the other children compromised

And said “Fine! It’s a goat!”

I ate and shared the pizza

With the others who didn’t vote.

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Third Time’s The Charmless

A failed piece of art

Made in Microsoft paint

Faces off against the Goddess

Of political taint

With the goal of defamation

And the tool of shameless lies

And among the States there echoes

350-million “Why”s.

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