I’m not a huge fan of reality shows
But one that I think would impress
Is a battle-royale style contest between
All 535 folks in congress.
We’d give them katanas and send them away
To a place that’s devoid and bereft
And let them do anything they want to do
Until there’s just one of them left.
The final survivor gets to be president
And the senate and house get refilled
By neighbors and bosses and IRS workers
And anyone else we want killed.
Filed under Poems
There once was a venomous fly
That, with one touch, could make a man die.
It’s untraceable and yellow.
I’ll release it, dear fellow,
And that is my whole answer why.
Filed under Poems
What comes up
Must come down
Except the human propensity
To find reasons to frown.
But on the moon
The proverb’s incorrect,
So send the easily offended to the moon!
Does anyone object?
Filed under Poems
Clip-clop, clip-clop.
The horse passes by.
Clip-clop, clip-clop.
It has no shoes, but why?
Flip-flop, flip-flop.
Problem solved.
Filed under Poems
I’m a fan of gatherings
Like a conference or a fest
Where people with shared interests
Can do what they do best.
I suggest a conference
For wannabe school shooters
Where they can get some practice.
Also welcome: thieves and looters.
Filed under Poems
There are very few problems
That cannot be solved
By a handful of raisins
And a baseball bat.
How do those fix it?
Is that what you said?
I was hoping you wouldn’t
Ask me that…
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 