What if we made some bread
That tastes like boring sugar
And made it into a straw
With a texture like a booger
And named it after an herb
That’s entirely unrelated?
Turns out it’s a best seller
And that’s why I’m frustrated.
Tag Archives: Stupid
How Today’s High Schoolers Learned To Read
A is for abbreviation
Which means shortening things.
Z is for zat’s all folks,
Now go do kid things.
Filed under Poems
What An Improvement!
AI is a tool
Like search engines without ads.
Also, it has ads.
Filed under Poems
Government In A Nutshell
“Can we all agree…”
“No! You didn’t vote like me!”
“…That kittens are cute?”
Filed under Poems
I Humbly Present…
Whoever decided “Present”
Should mean both “gift” and “now”
As well as “here” like “I am here”
And “here” like “take this cow”
Should be presented with a present
If they’re present in the present
‘Cause their presence in the past
Makes the present present as unpleasant.
Wishing You A Fungus-Free New Year
I’m starting out the new year
By achieving my daily goals
Like writing my daily poetry
And avoiding benzimidazoles.
And yes, my new goals do include
Some oddly specific stuff
But that’s the sacrifice we make
Because rhyming is tough.
Filed under Poems
Black Friday Deals
There was an unwanted doodad
That everyone figured was bad
But just for today
We can send it your way
For 10% off. Aren’t you glad?
Filed under Poems
Bypassing Internet Censorship, Two Clubs Interconnected By A Chain At A Time
Who decided that “Nunchaku”
Should be pronounced like “Numb Chucks?”
I assume it’s some translator,
But they’re almost certainly dunfaku.
Filed under Poems
Gift Cards
Happy Birthday dude!
Here’s cash you can only spend
Somewhere you don’t go.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 