Tag Archives: Stupid

Things That Lasted Waaay Too Long

First there was Vietnam

Then the second gulf war…

Now I’m curious how many years

The Amber Heard trial goes for.


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Happy Delusions

If I had a pet stegosaurus

I think I would name it Boris

And until someone finked

That he was extinct

My family would really adore us.

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I Started Writing This Poem In Real Time As We Tried To Watch A Movie, And ai Committed Way Too Hard To The Gimmick…

Portable DVD player

Why are you useless?

You should make life easier

But instead cause us stress.

I wish I could shoot you

In the face with a gun

But you don’t even have a face…

Another reason you’re no fun.

I’m writing this ode to you

As a professional IT person

Tries to make you work at all

Yet the situation does still worsen.

You are naughty, bad, and stupid

And a big mean jerk

But I’d rescind those judgements

If you’d just freakin’ work.

A part of me is fearful now

This poem will not end

Because you are our tech enemy

And not our entertainment friend.

Don’t you see the pain you’re causing

Readers of this blog?

All this to watch a DVD…

What a somber slog.

I would skip ahead in time

To tell you how this ends

But if we made a graph of progress

And analyzed the line of trends

I think the universe would end

In heat death before long

So just sing this poem over and over

Like the 99 bottles of beer song.

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But They Still Need Taxes?

“What comes up must come down”

My teacher told me with a frown,

But here’s a thing that I don’t get:

Why isn’t that true for government debt?

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Only Washingtonians Will Appreciate The Absurdity

Today it rained in the morning,

From dawn ‘til the sunset was yella’

And I saw the craziest out-of-town guy

Who for some reason had an umbrella!

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Ooh… And Throw In A Twist Villain And Random One-Liners Whenever The MANY Main Characters Die But Then Come Back To Life Because Time Travel

There once was a film from the past

And people said it was a blast;

Then Hollywood said

“What if instead

“It had an (insert group here) cast?”

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Bird of Paradise

Sometimes I wonder if I’d be happier

If I’d been born as an eel,

But then when a movie takes a shocking turn

I wouldn’t know how to feel…

Then I go on Google to find an animal

That’s happiest, and today I found it:

Introducing the greatest bird ever…

The American Bushtit.

“You named me WHAT?”

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Race War, The Board Game

Every time you set up a game

Of chess and take a pawn

You’ve created a token minority.

That’s all for tonight… moving on…

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It’s Not Funny At All Until You Read It Out Loud, Out Of Context, To Your Friends

Toses ate ted

Violets ate blue.

Appatently changing a lettet

Makes things hungty, ctew!

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