There are many lovely people
In the world that I have seen,
Yet many would be lovelier
As part of Soylent Green.
Tag Archives: Stupid
Want To Disable Blood Rain For $0.99?
Pestilence, Famine, Death, and War:
These are the mythic Horsemen four.
Another we’ll add in the next transcription:
It’s named, “To Continue, Please Buy A Subscription”.
Filed under Poems
20th Century Art History
So around the 1900’s
A bunch of artists said
“What if, instead of pretty things
“We just made trash instead?”
And thus “modernism” started
Until 1970 or so
When artists became “post-modern”
And nobody came to their show.
Filed under Poems
Saving Time, Anyone?
I spent an hour writing this poem
And it would be my most precious gem
If the hour that I had spent writing it
Wasn’t this morning at 2:00 AM.
Filed under Poems
Get It… Terrific?
I’ve heard people say leftists are happy
With Trump’s economics. A specific
Comment I heard is that they are feeling
A really strong feeling of tariff-ick.
Filed under Poems
Ode To An English Major
In a dreary campus sat
Poor I, a poet, much perturbed
For I was realizing that
My odds of passing were disturbed.
Th’examination that I took
Was one on poetry, so I
Did not much study from my book
But sat the test, my brain still dry.
Yes, I could name poetic styles
Sonnet, Sestina, Villanelle.
I blacked out bubbles, full of smiles,
‘Til did important topics knell.
I can distinguish couplet forms
Iamb, Trochee, and Anapest.
Easily I fought these questions swarmed
But failed at what mattered best:
A final question on the page
The exam’s author failed to anoint
And my lack of answer caused me rage.
The question: “What’s the fucking point?”
Filed under Poems
P. Diddy? More Like R. Chaic! (Gregorian Ba Dum Tss)
I suspect between 476-1450 AD
The pedophiles cried and raged
Because even the youngest of children
Were all still middle aged.
Filed under Poems
Why Aren’t Billionaires Doing This?
When I get rich, I want to buy
All the ads for my favorite shows
And just put a 3-second picture up
To make sure everyone knows
That the reason you don’t have to watch
A billion stupid ads
Is because I’m rich and I think they suck
So enjoy the bandwidth, lads!
Chief Energizer Officer Sought For Fast-Paced Executive Opportunity
We’re hiring for a guinea pig
To work for forty hours
Making coffee for the mucky-mucks
With offices in towers.
The role pays $20k a year
So let’s post the job. Maybe
We’ll say that it pays 50k
And needs a master’s degree!
Filed under Poems
Off The Grid
The government is playing Yahtzee
Except instead of rolling dice
They get to place the dice face-up
However they think is nice.
Meanwhile, they make us roll our dice
And tell them what we rolled
Even though they already watched us
And take half our score ‘til we fold.
Playing Yahtzee with the government
Is not a whole lot of fun
So that’s why I want to go live in the woods
With my wife, my dog, and my gun.
The Daily Travesty 