When I see your smiling face,
Your shining eyes and feline grace
I almost feel somethig at all
But then I don’t. So there.
Tag Archives: Stupid
It’s All Aroun’, Bringin’ Us Down
What comes up
Must come down.
What goes sideways, as it turns out
Also must come down.
What doesn’t move at all
Never will go up.
It is for these reasons
That gravity makes a crappy topic
For poetry.
Filed under Poems
Missing My Step, Son
I’m just walking,
Nothing special going on,
When I realize suddenly
That you’re absent, gone.
My sudden epiphany
Hits me right in the spine,
So I said “watch out for the drop”
To the next guy in line.
Filed under Poems
Twelve Unborn Chickens Died To Bring You This Poem
When I throw eggs out the window
While on the motorway
Some jerks honk and curse at me.
That’s what I learned today.
Now if I hit you with an egg
You can honk if you want to
But I don’t mind ’cause either way
In the end the yolk’s on you.
Doing My Part To Spread Awareness
There aren’t enough poems
About the great Manta Ray,
A fact which remains true
After my poem today.
Filed under Poems
Write About What You Know
If I were a possum
Life would still be awesome.
If I were a kangaroo
Our love would still be true.
If other marsupials I knew
This poem would have another stanza or two.
Filed under Poems
Small Dog, Big Mistake
I saw on my lawn, between the mounds
Of wood chips, a dog of 15 pounds.
It was white and fluffy and ugly as sin
And it was having its way with my newspaper bin.
So I snuck over and scooped him up.
Oh, you should have heard that pup!
He barked and wailed and growled and bit.
I knew no way to calm the…git
And so I took it to the pound
To hope the monster would be found.
The police met me at the door.
As I was cuffed, I asked “what for?”
I was arrested for my labors
For my lawn has no wood chips: ‘Twas my neighbor’s.
Filed under Poems
Ineffective Insults, Florida Edition
“Your mother is a gator
“And your sister smells like glue!”
I thought he’d be offended,
But he wasn’t ’cause it’s true.
Filed under Poems
Analogies Only Go So Far
Cooking bacon
Is like installing updates
On a computer
With too little RAM:
It’s seems to take hours
And it spits oil at you
All to make you get fatter,
But when it’s done… Dayum!
The Daily Travesty 