There we were upon the sea
And looking for some fun.
We got a wad of dollar bills
To go play 21.
We sat upon a padded stool
And bet our livelihood.
Some hands didn’t go so well
(As math suggests it should).
However, one fine gentleman
Who couldn’t hear a word
Was tipping well the dealer
And flipping math the bird.
Overall we lost a bit
But had a lot of fun.
Also, I know why cruise ships
Don’t let you pack a gun.
Filed under Poems
There once was a poet (that’s me)
Who’s vacationing tomorrow at sea.
I’ll be gone a week, and lack
Internet access (Alack!)
So I won’t publish for a while. Sorry!
Filed under Poems
You know when you’re eating the pasta
That’s shaped liked a little wheat shell
And they stick on your tongue while you eat them
And you feel like the whole world is well?
Or how ‘bout when you’re dehydrated
And your pee is all yellow and bright
And the pee-water gets kinda cloudy
And you flush and it all feels alright?
I like that just-popped-a-zit feeling
And that “earwax is washed away” calm.
It’s just me? That may be, but I’m hoping
You find your own commonplace balm.
Filed under Poems
My wife is on the sofa
Running through the golden grass
Trying to catch an Eevee
Which is a real pain in the ass.
She’s been doing this for hours,
A frustrating type of zen
And I feel like she’s living out
My childhood again.
Filed under Poems
They told me “Sit in the basement”.
They asked me to heat their water.
They failed to think of what happens
If my willpower starts to totter,
If the pressure gets to be too much
And I blow my top all over them.
Well, I’ll show them a hard time
Tomorrow morning at 4:00ish AM!
Filed under Poems
There once was a woman (my wife)
Who experienced female strife.
I bought her “Unicorn Princess” for the switch
And now she’s not so much of a… stressed person
And what is going on with my life?
Filed under Poems
April seventeenth
Is national haiku day.
Do you give a crap?
Filed under Poems
“This movie is great, I promise”.
Those were the words I said.
Then I remembered that one scene
Where they shot the dude in the head
And the bit with the serial killer
And the… actually, never mind.
Maybe next time we’ll watch a movie
That you happen to find.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 