I got out of a nice warm bed
Because I forgot to publish a verse.
Now I’m getting right back in bed
Because I’ve satisfied the terms of my curse.
Tag Archives: True Story
Being 30
I voted today for the president.
Then with my civic duty complete
I played Mario Party with teenagers
And had waffles with whipped cream to eat.
Filed under Poems
Vineyard Aftermath (The Other Kind)
There’s a satisfying “thump”
As a bunch of grapes you dump
Into a yellow plastic bucket
On a sunny afternoon.
There’s a feeling of achievement
When you cause a grape bereavement
Because you tore it from its vineyard
And it will be grape juice soon.
There’s a warmth that lingers on
Your neck until the dawn:
It’s a sunburn you predicted
But did nothing to prevent.
One of these lasts longer,
Is visible, and is stronger
And I’ll think about it next time
Before to picking I consent.
Filed under Poems
I Can Add “Princess Coach” To My Resumé Now
One of the benefits of being a poet
Is apparently you qualify
To go to a local high school
And coach (read “attempt to mollify”)
Some local pageant princesses
Who have to learn a speech
Because if you know English
You do not do; You teach!
Filed under Poems
Debate Recap 2024
So Tuesday night on ABC
Two candidates arrived
And competed for whose speeches
Sounded the least contrived.
Some faces asked them questions
Which neither deigned to answer.
It assured me of my decision:
That it’s time to vote for cancer.
Filed under Poems
But You Get A Cool T-Shirt! (Or Why I Stopped Worrying And Ran A 5K)
Somehow we went from running
To avoid becoming a meal
To paying $50 to run
To express the way we feel.
Filed under Poems
Poems From My Vacation 6 – Victoria, BC
The Gardens of Butchart are marvelous,
A sprawling Canadian eden
Where flowers abound over hillock and mound
And employees spend all their day’s weedin’.
The Gardens are themed geographically,
With Italian and Japanese spaces
And the gelato shop sold, for $8 a pop,
Icy treats to put smiles on faces.
Nearby was the Butterfly Garden
With bugs, birds, turtles, and more
And you could just sit as the butterflies flit
And the lizards abound on the floor.
Overall, ‘twas a wonderful venture
Into flora and fauna domestic.
If you find yourself in Victoria too
Both sites are grand and majestic.
Filed under Poems
What Did You Have For Lunch?
Today I tried making sushi
And, in a way, it was a success…
I managed to put all the rice in a roll
And wrap it in bamboo and press.
The ingredients all fit together
And it tasted like sushi indeed.
The downside is it looked like Lizzo
Wrapped in very expensive seaweed.
Filed under Poems
Poems from My Vacation 5 – Skagway
Skagway has a choo-choo ride
Up through an icy pass.
My wife and I ate burgers there
‘Cause the cruise burgers were… fine.
There was a tram that led up to
Majestic mountains silver.
They also sold alpaca clothes
That cost so much they… fine?
We watched a film about the rush
For gold in Yukon lands.
The supply of actual gold to find
Far outweighed demand
And so a lot of horses died
(And sure, some humans too).
My wife got sick… I found a stick…
Did I mention the choo-choo?
Filed under Poems
Guest Poem From My Wife As She Sits On The Couch Playing Pokemon, Expecting Me To Rub Her Feet
We drove home today
People need to learn to drive
Terrible traffic
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 