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Category Archives: Poems
A 30-Something’s Review of Fortnite
In my day, our violent games
Were about shooting guys and taking names.
Now you skydive, camp, and swim
And randomly change from her to him,
Running from a big pink cloud
And avoiding things that are scary or loud.
When I was young, you daren’t mess up
But now I guess we get to dress up?
Filed under Poems
Endings Are Overrated. Candles, Not So Much.
Lights are flickering.
Dire rain and wind give me
An excuse to post…
Filed under Poems
Six Years Old And Already Screaming About Stuff That Doesn’t Matter
Today I taught a first-grade class
And of the 18 kids
Six were joys, six were invisible,
And six blew off their lids.
So one of three will be successful
And one in three will be cute
And one in three do nothing, but loudly
Which is just who the Feds will recruit.
Filed under Poems
The Only Kong Will Be Donkey
Some people want no kings
But I don’t think that’s proper
‘Cause when I feel hungry
I want to eat a Whopper.
I like Californian sports teams
And extra-roomy beds,
Good poker hands and Aragorn
And Starks who are also Neds.
A bunch of schools will have to change
Their mascots. Other things
Will cause unexpected results
If we really have no kings.
Filed under Poems
We’ve Come A Long Way Since 867-5309
The upside of the “6-7” trend
Is that it may show the unheralded end
Of kids saying “420-69”
Which makes me feel better than fine.
Filed under Poems
No Change Is Good Change?
Thanks to a heroic protest
With an anti-monarchical request
I’m happy to say
That as of today
No kings have, our freedom, transgressed.
Filed under Poems
Comfort or Fitness: How Will You Help Me?
If you ask my pronouns
I’ll answer with a smile.
If you tell me yours
I’ll sprint at least a mile.
Filed under Poems
When School Gives You Hope
Sunday evening ends.
Glitch in time. It’s Saturday.
Yay, quantum physics!
Filed under Poems
We’re Living In A Fairy Tale
Once, there were some evil kings
Who did a lot of evil things.
As times go, it was not pleasant.
Unfortunately, that time’s the present.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 