I remember being baffled
When I was a little tyke
Because the little axolotls
Looked an awful lot alike
And the axolotl likeness
Made me trip over my tongue;
“A lot of little axolotls look a lot alike”
Is hard to say when you are young.
I remember being baffled
When I was a little tyke
Because the little axolotls
Looked an awful lot alike
And the axolotl likeness
Made me trip over my tongue;
“A lot of little axolotls look a lot alike”
Is hard to say when you are young.
Filed under Poems
I’ve got a great idea
For a really catchy song.
We’ll play the tune for the first minute
But it’s eleven minutes long
So the rest of it will be me
Playing a random sexy lick
Until you forget that you were listening…
Yeah, that’ll do the trick!
Filed under Poems
Sunny Summer day
Fluffy clouds and gentle breeze
Now I’m way too tan
Filed under Poems
Birthday cake is good.
Every day someone is born.
Ergo: I am fat.
Filed under Poems
Trump’s on Epstein’s list.
Someone’s gun went boom too soon.
England’s a hellhole.
Filed under Poems
We’ve got people addicted to drugs,
Alcohol, porn, and their phones
Yet my cat hears someone say “pspspspsps”
And just feels content deep in his bones.
Filed under Poems
I think we need a reverse Make-a-Wish
Where kids with cancer go see
Some self-absorbed millionaire bozos
Who’re all caught up in “poor me”,
And little bald Kaleb can smile
And give Mr. Rich a high five.
If we do this enough they might donate stuff
And the cancer kids might stay alive.
Filed under Poems
Today I got up early
Around 5:00 AM or so. Um,
I spent my morning working
But not writing a poem.
I ate my lunch and read a book
With my mind never immersed
In considering a meter
Nor its counterpart of verse.
This evening after dinner
I took a shower hot
And massaged my wife’s posterior
Without a single thought
Regarding writing poetry,
Yet presently I’m writing it
So if you’d beat your writer’s block
Perhaps you should stop fighting it.
Filed under Poems
Mercury has thermometers.
Venus has carnivorous plants.
Mars has chocolate candy
But Earth gets freakin’ ants?!
Filed under Poems