Twenty-one years old,
A whole life ahead of me.
But there’s Youtube too…
Category Archives: Poems
Cat Vs. Mirror: The Phantom Menace
His likeness was mine,
His visage my own.
His eyes shone the same,
His fur shared my tone.
I gazed at him
And he gazed back at me.
I figured he saw
What I also did see.
I swiped at his paw
And he swiped back at mine.
It was time to rebuke
This copycat swine!
We swiped at each other.
His claws were like glass!
We fought like equals
But I kicked his ass.
Then I spun around
And that coward fled.
Now it’s time for eating
And then off to bed.
Filed under Poems
I Wonder No Longer
Have you ever wondered
How soon is too soon
To bring up a topic
Of which everyone’s sick
Like politics, what to eat,
Or Frank herbert’s “Dune?”
‘Cause more manta ray poems
Would be pretty slick…
Filed under Poems
Bad Ideas
I ice skate through the forest
With my ice cream cone
While buffering some youtube
On my Samsung mobile phone.
I tripped over a gum drop
And I think I broke my snout.
This is the last time I ask my mom
“What should my poem be about?”
Filed under Poems
… Just Disappointed
I’m not mad that in a day
Awareness of the Manta Ray
And its lack of presence in verse
Has hardly changed, for better or worse.
I’m not mad that my attempt
Has not resulted as I dreamt.
Alas, it is not as I wished,
For still few care for the flat gray fish.
And so in my last plea to you
I wrote, of the Manta, this haiku:
Swimming manta ray.
Crocodile hunter slain
And still no poems.
I hope I have inspired you
To write rhymes of the great ray too.
Rhyming’s hard, and some will balk
Yet still I’m glad we had this talk.
Filed under Poems
Doing My Part To Spread Awareness
There aren’t enough poems
About the great Manta Ray,
A fact which remains true
After my poem today.
Filed under Poems
The Diving Contest
Ten-dollar swimsuit,
Twelve silver rungs,
Six feet of diving board,
Twelve-foot deep water,
Four-hundred cheering fans,
Two feet too far left,
Five nights at the hospital,
Countless memories.
Filed under Poems
Spy Problems
I’ve got a machine gun
With infinite bullets.
I can outrun
An explosion with ease.
I can seduce any
Man, woman, or dolphin,
But whenever I’m hiding
I always must sneeze…
I wear only the finest
Imported silk clothing.
I drink only the choicest
Fermented delights.
I’m the greatest agent
There ever has been,
Yet somehow I always
Get stuck working nights…
Filed under Poems
Matchmaker
You’d think that I
The matchmaker
Would find a lovely wife.
Alas, somehow
I’m lonely still,
But making fires is no strife.
Filed under Poems
Red Badge Of Courage
A handsome soldier,
His mighty steed,
Heroic in both
Word and deed
Ride into glorious
Victory.
A medal awarded
There was to be.
Amongst his peers’
Great aplomb
The soldier came to
Have the medal pinned on.
Alas the officer
In command
Did not possess
A steady hand.
And so the pin
Met the soldier’s lapel
But, alas, pierced soldier’s
Flesh as well.
So for the bloodshed
In which he took part
The soldier was also given
The Purple Heart.
The soldier survived
This test of mettle,
Awarded a medal
For earning a medal.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 