Iran said to America, “You da bomb.”
America said, “No, you da bomb.”
And everything would have been ok
Except Israel ran and told their mom.
Tag Archives: America
No Kings? No Thanks
There once was a man in a political seat
Whose rhetoric inspired much political heat.
Because of this protestors did amass across the nation
In a movement called “NoKings” which is a hot recent sensation.
Alas, the hockey players in Los Angeles are sad
And the Sacremento basketballers also feel mad.
I for one support our Californian athlete friends
And wish the players happiness until this protest ends.
Filed under Poems
An American Epiphany
I’m 0.02 football fields tall
And I weigh 153 basketballs.
My waist circumference is the cube root of 120 teaspoons
And maybe the metric system isn’t bad after all.
Filed under Poems
And For June’s Bingo Card…
Donald and Elon sitting in a tree
T.W… oops… X.I.N.G.
First come threats
War comes later
And wait, is that Kanye playing mediator?
Filed under Poems
It Rhymes With Duck (And It’s One Of The Words Timmy CAN Spell)
Timmy was a troubled child
Who wouldn’t do his work.
When Timmy didn’t pass his class
His mom became a jerk
And met with Timmy’s principal:
“If Timmy doesn’t walk
“At graduation, your boss and I
“Will have a little talk.”
Well the principal’s salary
Is based on graduation rate
So he waived Timmy’s missing stuff
And got thanked by the state.
Timmy is a graduate.
The principal got paid.
Society got a synoym
For “screwed” and “loved” and “laid.”
Filed under Poems
Goldreck The Obtuse Didn’t Apply His Social Emotional Learning Outcomes
Today I learned in school
That everyone’s equally cool
So I wore my knickerbocker.
Now I’m cool inside my locker.
Filed under Poems
On The Devaluation Of Currency And Its Indirect Consequences To Tourism And Related Industries (Or: Time To Invest In Fountains, As The Price Of Wishes Just Went Up 400%)
I sing of a coin called a penny
Whose value was just less than “any”.
It was cash, free and legal, and yet it
Was not worth the effort to get it.
If it’s true what the president hinted
No longer will such coins be minted
And I for one ponder this pickle:
Will folks still pay for a souvenir nickel?
Filed under Poems
Qatar Is Just Protecting Their Spanish Friends From Flooding
So Trump accepted a gifted plane
Worth half a billion dollars
Which prompted a lot of random folks
To become morning radio callers.
But with regards to blame
And deciding on whom to pin it
You should know the rain in Spain
Is apparently mainly in it.
Filed under Poems
East Vs. West — Tea Edition
When you sit down in America
To have a cup of tea
You pull out your fine china
As if you aren’t the bourgeoisie.
Meanwhile, In China
Do they grab a fancy gun
And call it “fine america”?
‘Cause that’s sounds way more fun!
Filed under Poems
Just 51 More Years To Effective Governance
Little do we know that Mr. Beast
Has been filming a new video
That he started in 1776
And here’s how it will go:
“I locked every good politician
“In a cage for 300 years
“And if they stay the whole time
“They’ll be recognized by their peers.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 