FedEx guy in California
Has a job that’s really tough:
He sits inside a warehouse
That contains my purchased stuff.
The tracking number tells him
It needs to ship today
But he’s busy playing Solitaire
So my stuff will have to stay.
Tag Archives: Annoying
July 2, 2025 · 8:45 pm
9:30 PM
Body, toasty warm
Snuggled up with heavy eyes.
Bladder says, “What if…”
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June 3, 2025 · 10:18 pm
That Moment Before Sleep
Pillow soft and cool
Sheets are clean. My feet are sore.
Now I have to pee.
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May 19, 2025 · 7:43 pm
Liar Or Grammar Nazi… Which Is Worse?
They say there was a mermaid
With a very short torso
Even though she was seven feet long.
Some people have told me
That it’s a tall tale
And I tell them they spelled “tail” wrong.
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January 7, 2025 · 4:16 pm
Elegy For A D&D Session
Here lies our session,
Cancelled last minute
Because someone had finals.
That’s terrible, innit?
But why don’t you pick up
And play without one?
They’re sure to catch up
And the rest can have fun!
Well, “the rest” had a hard week
And one’s on vacation
And one’s had to work
‘Cause of some situation
And one’s having car trouble.
And got her hair done
So no game, but I’ve got
A whole pizza for one.
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August 20, 2024 · 9:21 pm
Do You Have A One, A Two, A Three, A Moment?
I want to start an exercise trend
Where you walk through your neighborhood
Knocking on doors and running away
And pretending you’re misunderstood.
Part of this program is selling the plan
To neighbors you happen to witness
And all exercise that’s not this are just lies.
I call this “Jehovah’s Fitness”.
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May 13, 2024 · 7:36 pm
SOOOOOO Many times…
There once was this person in a show
Whose character was lower than low
And the writers said “Hey,
“Let’s show them every day“
And now I don’t watch any mo’.
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April 11, 2024 · 8:46 pm
The One Tax I Would Support
I think that complaint calls
Should work like a phone sex line:
They’ll charge you by the minute
To listen to you whine.
In fact, any complaints at all
Should have a hefty fee…
Who else wants to defund Karens
And fill the world with glee?
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March 16, 2024 · 9:11 pm
Sweet Child O’ Mine
If given a choice
Between water and wine
Instead ask for orange juice
And you’ll get on fine.
If given a choice
Between fire and ice
Just say “I’ll have lightning
“‘Cause that would be nice.”
If given a choice
Between evil and good
Do what you want
If you want what you should
For picking a choice
Between one or another
Is much too convenient
For me and your mother.
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January 31, 2024 · 8:24 pm
Social Media Press Releases
You know that one app
That you use every day
With a UX that’s perfect
In every way?
About that… I’ve great nees
To share here today:
We’ve launched a new update!
You just have to pay…
The Daily Travesty 