If I were a toad
I would write fewer poems,
Which makes me think
I should go piss off a witch.
Tag Archives: Bad
HBO Anyone?
I’ve created the pilot
Of a TV show
That is sure to be a success.
It’s called “Days of our Sons
“Of The Detectives Whom
“Go To High School in the North by Northwest.”
It features mysteries,
Drama, and romance
‘Neath a musical fantasy sky.
It may not be good,
And it may not get watched,
But it’ll run longer than Firefly.
Filed under Poems
Based On A True Story
Sometimes I get tired of writing crap
So I write something lovely instead.
Tonight is not one of those times.
Now I’m done and I’m going to bed.
Filed under Poems
How To Write Poetry, As Written by a Master
The fragments of a sunny mind
Coalesced in humble station
Do take images clear and true
To merge by obfuscation.
Meter and alliteration,
Thesaurus ad infinitum;
The poet utilizes these
As his poems, he does write ’em.
What once was green and white
Is basil and alabaster
If indeed the poetry you find
Is scripted by a master.
With these prerequisites complete
Thus finished is the poetic feat,
But resist that tempting lure.
Add a few more stanzas to be sure.
Filed under Poems
Seeing The Forest From The Treason
Trusting a serving platter
Is something not to do
Because a serving platter
Will always be-tray you.
A Few Good Runs
I eat a plum
To celebrate
A happy day,
Successful date,
A win at work,
A good night’s sleep,
Looking at a woman
Without seeming like a creep.
I’ve been succeeding
In lots of ways,
And I’ll be out of the bathroom
One of these days…
Filed under Poems
Election Years
Do you feel the suction,
The all-consuming swirl
That spins you round and round
Until you have to hurl?
No, it’s not a whirlpool,
Tornado, or typhoon.
It’s the suck of the political ads
Headed your way soon.
Filed under Poems
Life is like…
Life is like a game
Of charades
In which people can talk
And watch parades
And have to make money
Or they’ll starve to death
And nobody actually cares
What people are trying to communicate,
Kind of like life.
The Last “I’m Tired and I Don’t Care Anymore” Poem of 2015 (I Hope)
I’vr* written a lot of bad poems this year,
And this one may be the worst.
It might be good. It might be bad.
I wrote the title first.
*I did notice this typo.
As is my nature, I fixed it.
Then I decidrd** it fit with the theme.
As for my correction… I nixed it.
**This one was completely intentional. Sue me.***
***If you seriously considered this, keep in mind Poetry is a major portion of my income.
Filed under Poems
One Of Those Times
Brute strength can’t do everything.
Stamina has limits.
Despite how hard you try
Not every couplet rhymes.
You can lose your focus.
You can lose your mind.
Life might not gives you lemons,
And maybe not even limes.
Sometimes you write two stanzas
Before you realize
That you have no conclusion.
But you don’t want to erase.
Sometimes you write “you”
When referring to yourself.
Next time you write this poem
Instead use “what’s your face.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 