I have a secret mission
That I need to undertake
But leaving online evidence
Is surely a mistake…
If only there were a button
That I could press to hide
My browser history… also
The hate I feel inside.
Oh wait? What is this button
With a sneaky little spy?
An incognito window?
Why, that’s just the thing that I
Did need for just this purpose!
I’m glad Google has my back.
Now pet me commence searching
For things they’d never, ever track…
Filed under Poems
Now Google Chrome apparently
Is blocking third-party cookies
So companies have to pay them
To earn the user clicks and lookies.
People are acting like this is bad,
As if personalized ads were good…
But people are optimistic about the election
So I guess they probably would.
Filed under Poems
If I had a nickel
For every commercial starring a white guy
I would have as much money
As the black people who aren’t in ads.
—————————————————————
Violets are black.
Roses are black.
Criminals are racially diverse
So cut me some slack.
—————————————————————
Sure, the future isn’t white
But don’t you worry! It’s alright!
Europe’s long past its golden days
And no one likes swimming anyways.
Filed under Poems
The dinosaurs roamed the earth
Until God said “Here’s Wifi”
And then they stopped jumping cactuses
And proceeded to die.
Filed under Poems
I accidentally deleted
My browser history
And yet the pages I visit
Show the same ads to me
About the things I’ve talked about
But never searched online
So forgive we while I move under this rock
And live there… I’ll be fine.
Filed under Poems
I asked a higher being,
The all-knowing and all seeing
If I should turn my life around
Or stay the same, all safe and sound.
I saw a vision in the blue
And what it said had to be true.
I summoned my courage and focused my zen.
It said “Reply hazy. Try again.”
Filed under Poems
Why are things funny?
That’s a very good question,
And worth googling.
I decided to
Search for “Funny Picture.” Well,
Here’s the first result:
So, by Google’s thoughts
Coffee tables are funny.
Never would have guessed!
The Daily Travesty 