Tag Archives: Humor

Afternoon People Are Fine Though

As you read this poem

You may look upon your clock

And see either the morning’s tic

Or else the evening’s tock.

I have advice to share with you

Be it the eve or morning;

First for my evening readers, I

Do share this somber warning:

For those whose work and leisure lasts

‘Til late at night like me

You run the risk of starting a blog

Of petty poetry.

But for the morning readers

Perhaps you’ll ponder thus:

How have you time to read crap

Writ by evening folk like us?

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Son Of God, Father Of Refreshing Beverages?

They say Jesus turned water into wine

But there’s an alternative guess I see:

I think Jesus was the inventor of Kool-Aid

But hadn’t perfected the recipe.

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In Retrospect, Childhood Had Its Perks

I have to go to bed soon

And wake up before quarter-to-noon

And then drive my car

And not get a gold star

And I can’t even watch a cartoon!

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The Bar Is Low

As she slid the dollar bill

Between my boxers and my abs

I came to the conclusion

Grandma shouldn’t have opened a tab.

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The Best Revenge Is A Fifth Grade Band Student

Blow ye trumpet!

Blow yer horn

From sunset ‘til

Tomorrow morn’.

Bugle brightly

As if in labor

For I’m out of town

And I hate my neighbors!

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There May Also Be Breeding Involved…

There once was a digital horse

Who ran with electrical force.

It’s in my girlfriend’s phone

And now I’m alone

‘Cause she’s busy racing, of course!

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A Boy Becomes A Man (Mouse Saga Pt. 2)

Snap crackle pop

Is the sound you hear

When you pour rice crispies

And have some fun.

Snap crackle pop

May also appear

When the mouse trap makes

Your husbandly duties done.

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0.3 Ounces Of Pure Evil (Mouse Saga Pt. 1)

Little mouse

In our house

Upsetting my future spouse

Makes me decide

Mouse genocide

May very well be justified.

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The Most Annoying Sound In The Universe

There once was a CO detector

That was meant to be a home protector.

It beeps loudly at night

Though the battery’s alright

So I hit it with an axe and wrecked ‘er!

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Confessions of an Art Professor

Sure, his work was childish

And adequate at best…

Did I give too much homework

Or too difficult a test?

Perhaps I judged too harshly…

I didn’t know I’d cause a fuss

When I told my student, Adolf,

That he’d earned a big D+

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