People go to work
Eight hours a day
Clicking buttons mindlessly
To earn their meager pay,
After which they go home
And spend sixty bucks
To click buttons mindlessly
And then say their life sucks…
Tag Archives: Humor
Higher Education is a Cure for Introversion
I once found it tough
To talk about stuff,
But then I went to college.
Now I regale ya
About paraphernalia
‘Cause now I’ve got the knowledge!
Filed under Poems
X-1 Teachers
If two trains depart at identical hours
Traveling towards one another
On parallel tracks, both carrying snacks
For the opposite engineer’s mother
When first they pass one another
At speeds varying by a factor of 5
How long will it take before students
Make their teacher no longer alive?
Filed under Poems
Feel The Burn
I’m not a really kinky dude
(As you may have surmised)
So I don’t know if this is real
But I wouldn’t be surprised:
There should be a dating site
For folks who “sub” or “dom”
To meet in public places…
“Strike-Anywhere Match.com”
Filed under Poems
Some Things Must Never Be Said In Civilized Company
I interviewed a guy today
Who seemed a classy man;
A graduate from Harvard
Who served in Afghanistan,
An ally to the homeless
Who kept them clothed and fed.
He was well-prepared, as well as
Well-dressed and well-read.
The only box that wasn’t checked
For this supreme go-getter
Was when he said “the warm side
Of the pillow feels better.”
Filed under Poems
After 2029 It’s “2020: Anniversary Edition”
Some people think this year will be bad
Because it comes after twenty-twenty
But that’s objectively untrue.
If you want to find an equal
Just realize they’ve scheduled a sequel
Every year ’til twenty-twenty nine
Filed under Poems
And The Lord Made The Oceans…
Some folks say that God is dead,
But that’s misinformation.
The real truth is God is gone
On one big long vacation.
He asked his faithful angel pal
To water his plant before bed,
But the angel pal misread the note
And watered the planet instead.
Filed under Poems
When People Write In Nothing But Emojis
The longest month of springtime,
A ball that helps you see,
A band with too much makeup,
And a goat we named “Marie.”
I meant to be romantic
But she had no clue
That I was simply asking
“May I kiss you?”
📆👁🐼🎵🐐?
Filed under Poems
First Amendment Sad!
I gave a presentation
About a prehistoric human
But when my speech was finished
My audience was fumin’.
A reporter stood and said “Hello,
“My name is Molly Kerrigan.
“There’s no such thing as cavemen.
“They’re Subterranean Americans.”
Filed under Poems
Tearjerker Country Songs 101
It’s a stormy night of sorts
And there’s a church nearby
And the preacher with a troubled past
Welcomes some stranded guy.
They small talk for a while
Until the preacher tells the tale
Of how some dude did something bad
And didn’t go to jail.
Some family member died too young
And everybody’s sad
And you get the impression
That God is really bad.
But then the random stranger
Who was talking to the priest
Is suddenly regretful
And reveals he was the beast
Who did the aforementioned crime
That caused the kid to die.
Then he says “Will you forgive me?”
And everybody starts to cry.
Then everybody’s fine and stuff
And no one finds it odd
That injustice is suddenly fine somehow
‘Cause hey, why not? Yay God!
Filed under Poems
