There once was a suburban dad
Who was a most serious lad.
He never told jokes
To his kids or his folks
And because of that they all were sad.
Now that you feel sufficiently guilty…
What did the dog say to the octopus?
I like bones.
Get it? ‘Cause he’s a dog?
Laugh, or I’ll read you the limerick again…
Filed under Poems
There once was a poet from Newark
Who never finished his work.
Even though it’d be easy
He was just that cheesy.
Filed under Poems
I’ve done nothing productive all day
And that won’t stop now, ok?
Please don’t make me do stuff.
“Not at all” is enough
And I’d love if you all went away.
Filed under Poems
There once was a CPA
Who managed my 401(K).
They said unto me
That a 403(B)
Would be better. Why? IDFK
Filed under Poems
There once was a warrior from Lo
Who’d a habit of stubbing his toe.
He could not help but feel
‘Twas his Achilles heel…
But nope! He died by arrow.
Filed under Poems
There was a race car driver from Leyte
Who suffered a terrible plight:
He was the world’s best
But for one crucial test:
He only knew how to turn right.
Filed under Poems
There once was a hand made of goo
That up at the ceiling you threw.
Then it would go “plop”
And eventually drop
And then you’d repeat that. Woo hoo!
Filed under Poems
There once was a skirt from Jerusalem
That wanted to grow its vertical some.
It tried adding a shirt
But it turns out the skirt
Might have needed a dress rehearsal., hm?
Filed under Poems
There once was a Seattle bird team
Who fought a sports battle upstream.
Alas, the sheep rallied
While the birds dilly-dallied
And now they’re an NFL meme.
Filed under Poems
There once was a criminal crew
Who knew precisely what to do.
They went on a heist
And their planning sufficed
And the film got an awful review.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 