I hear the pitter-patter
Of the children’s tiny feet,
See them playing in the forest
Despite the sultry August heat.
They run and sing so happily.
They live without a care.
They’ll fill my belly nicely
‘Cause %^*# you, I’m a bear.
Tag Archives: Plot Twist
The Real Darkness Approaches…
Once a year we celebrate
The gruesome and bizarre,
The stuff that gives clowns nightmares
And makes wolves hide under cars.
We make light of the horrific,
Let go the values we hold dear…
We call this celebration “tax day”
And it’ll come in half a year.
Filed under Poems
The Spectacle
Some are pointing,
Some are staring,
But not a person
Is not caring.
“Who’s that guy?”
The women question.
The men ask for
Workout suggestions.
But as I look,
Trying not to leer,
I simply ask
“Why the mirrors here?”
Filed under Poems
You’re The Only One
When I look at you
I see the stars in your eyes,
Round and full of love
And the same blue as the sky’s.
I see your lips, so ruby red
That whisper sweet lies
And I know you’re the only one.
Your hair is like a waterfall
Caressing my cheek.
The joy I feel around you
Makes my eyes spring a leak.
If I could only find the words
I know that I’d speak
To tell you you’re the only one.
You’re the only one
Who brings color to my world,
Who’s cooler than the winter
And more lovely than the fall.
The only one so beautiful
I cannot believe
That I feel no attraction at all.
You have an angel’s heart
And a siren’s sweet voice.
My apathy towards you
Cannot be by choice.
Maybe it has to do
With how you say “nice” as “noice.”
Whatever reason, you’re the only one.
You might just be an angel
Spreading joy to the land
The light of the world flowing
From the palm of your hand.
In spite of your perfection
You simply must understand
That you’re literally the only one.
The only one that leaves me
Feeling dry in my pants,
Uninspired to sing
And unwilling to dance.
You’re like an inconsistent meter
From one stanza to the next,
Which perhaps is why, from me,
You always will go un-sexed.
You’re the only one
To walk across a fire for me.
You’re maybe my only true love,
Destined for all time is you and me.
And so as this song/poem
Finds itself so near it’s end
Know that literally everyone turns me on
But you’re the only “just a friend.”
If It Were Anyone Else…
I woke up to a naked woman
Playfully hitting me with foam
Which makes me think tomorrow
Grandma’s going to a home.
Filed under Poems
…At First Sight
If you were a cow
I’d give you a moo.
If you were the floor
I’d take a picture of you.
If you were a quiz show
I’d hazard a guess,
But since you’re a human
I couldn’t care less.
Roadkill
Last night was so traumatic
That I need somewhere to vent,
For deep inside my heart
This feeling, up is pent.
I was driving home that evening
Behind a smart car, of all things,
Admiring the method
By which Shakira sings
When I saw the telltale glint
Of two curious green eyes,
And at once I knew the smart car
Was going faster than was wise.
Out leapt the eyes, and with them
Came the body of the cat.
There was quite the explosion
With blood and all of that.
And so I’ve seen the process
Of roadkill. Such dismay!
At least I take some comfort knowing
That at least the cat’s okay.
Filed under Poems
Good Problems
One walks along the city streets,
Just trying to get some air,
Yet one can’t help but notice
All the girls who stop and stare.
One experiences this often.
If somewhere one does go
One’s glamor, wit, and glowing health
Make one a living show.
One wishes one could take a break
From being the perfect man,
So I guess I’m pretty lucky
That I’m not one, and I can.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 