Narcolepsy can affect
Your life in many ways.
Tag Archives: Poetry
Alright… One. You Got Me.
I wanted to go
To the movies with you.
You couldn’t go
But that wouldn’t do
So I dressed like one person
Pretending to be two.
It was pretty fun.
The guy at the window
Sold me two passes
Despite recognizing
I wasn’t two lasses.
The tickets saw through my ploy
Like X-ray glasses:
Both of them said “Admit One.”
They Did 9-11, I Promise
You don’t often hear stories
About giant sea cucumbers
Who dabble in intrigue
And paint by numbers.
You don’t hear the stories
Of the cukes of the night,
But they’re real. One day
You’ll see that I’m right…
Filed under Poems
Hunting, To Some
A little bird called me cheap
So I murdered it,
Not because it called me cheap
But because I’m an asshole.
Filed under Poems
It Pays To Be Uninformed
It’s hard to write a travesty
If, indeed, you are like me
And despite your hopes and dreams
Nothing hurts and no one screams.
It’s hard to find valid complaints
When no one bleeds or pukes or faints,
When songbirds sing and angels fly
And all the spiders up and die.
It’s hard to be a downer debbie
When light stuff’s light and hebby’s hebby.
The world is peaceful, lovely, flat…
Oh wait, it’s not?
I can write about that!
Filed under Poems
The True Stories Are The Best, And The Best Deserve Many Likes And Comments
A spin across the border
Up to Canada I go
But as the guards interrogate
My engine starts to slow.
A bit of coaxing later
There’s a spitter-sputter-spop!
And off I go, yet unaware
I won’t make it to my stop.
I travel down the highways
91 and 99
Going Northward to Vancouver
And my truck’s still going fine.
I pull into a left turn lane
And my heart can only drop
‘Cause the green arrow says “go”
And my engine says “nah, stop.”
And so I try a jump start
To no avail, I hate to say.
911 responds and sends
A friendly tow truck on its way.
The nicest driver ever
Hooks up chains and ropes and all
And we drive back to America
Truck as f***ed up as Darth Maul.
Now a tow truck is a large machine
That can’t turn on a dime
And the driver drops me kindly
At the border crossing line.
I wait and wait and wait and wait
Until the light turns green
And thus begins the uphill push
Of my alternator-less machine.
I push up to the crossing
Halfway out and halfway in
$270 Canadian poorer
But back where I said “begin.”
So for a second tow I wait
Watching hour hands tick by.
If this poem’s unusually thoughtful, well
You know the reason why.
Filed under Poems
Very Little Planning Went Into This Poem (Or My Day In General)
It’s late.
I’m tired.
Trump says
“You’re fired.”
I lack
My mind.
People who can’t see
Are blind.
I waited
So long
To write
What’s wrong
Yet still
My other stuff
Is often worse
So there. *Huff*
Filed under Poems
Just Stop After The First Three Lines
Glum spelunkers
Flop and scoot
And wobble in a crevasse.
I don’t know whether
That’s relevant or true
But it sounds nice, so that’s something.
Filed under Poems
Don’t Worry: None Of This Crap Is True (Except the Punchline)
My bones ache,
My pores burn,
My very innards
Are a’ churn.
Exhaustion sets
My hair ablaze.
I do approach
The end of days.
I’m dehydrated
As I ask you
Why wouldn’t I
Stay up ’til 2:00?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 