Good looking people
Talking to each other.
Man is an idiot
Who experiences a bother.
Woman corrects her counterpart
Via the featured service or good.
Be a good ad writer?
Yes, I think I would
Tag Archives: Poetry
Fishing Scams
I got a suspicious email
From Prince Magbar of Venezuasia
Saying “want to go fishing this Sunday?”
You can’t let emails like that faze ya.
I got another message
A week after the first.
“Dear friend, I must give you money
“Or I fear my spleen will burst.”
I finally blocked his messages
To no longer get that spam,
But only moments later
I questioned who I am
To deny a man with money-spleen
From going fishing with his dear friend.
I replied, guiltily, and we met by the lake
Where he tore out and ate my lungs. The end!
Filed under Poems
The Long Haul
I watch you smile
In your sleep.
What secrets do
Your dreams so keep?
Will the joyfulness
Your rest bestowed
Remain when you see
Your car’s been towed?
Filed under Poems
Martyrdumb: Saint Drogo’s Story?
Somewhere someone is dying,
Nobly becoming a martyr.
Somewhere someone is getting
Less than what for they did barter.
Somewhere someone deemed saintworthy
As “Patron of Muffin Tops” is anointed.
But here I’m alive and unrecognized
And somehow I’m not disappointed.
Filed under Poems
Hey, Wait…
If you’re rubber
And I’m glue
You can call me anything
And I’m just screwed…
Filed under Poems
Feminist Fairy Tales
Once upon a time
There lived a lovely dame
Who got stolen by a dragon
Which she thought was pretty lame.
No one came to rescue her
Cause didn’t need no man.
The princes stayed at home
And got flabby eating flan.
Filed under Poems
Why Honesty Is A Dying Virtue
People these days
Are way too PC.
Take my friend (who for privacy
And rhyming’s sake we’ll call “B”).
B got offended
When I said “poop and pee.”
Even so, it’s still what
Her dinner tasted like to me.
Filed under Poems
My Ex, Why Z?
She’s a glass doll made of plastic,
A silent symphony,
A baby butterfly
But not a caterpillar, see.
She’s the sense of satisfaction
Men don’t get from buying shoes.
She’s a pomegranate seed,
But just the part without the juice.
She’s nonfat butter ice cream.
She’s that feeling of “just woke up.”
She’s everything and nothing
Which is probably why we broke up.
Filed under Poems
Rufus (Street Fighter IV)
750 pounds
Of animated lard
Who beats the crap out of little girls
And thinks it’s really hard.
He does a six-foot vertical jump
And a pirouette in the air.
Now I need to insert coins…
Life sure isn’t fair.
Filed under Poems
