Tag Archives: Politics

November 18, 2023 · 6:39 pm

Watching The News

I, for one, am grateful

That 24 hours a day

I can turn a TV on

And learn I’m not ok

‘Cause someone in another state

Is angry and insisted

That the government fix an issue

That I didn’t know existed.

I’m glad I can be angry

On demand, and also wary

Now that I know a deadly thing

Is affirmed as “very scary”.

I’m also glad these stations

Are translated totally free

To whatever political language

Is most offensive to me!

We’re lucky seven corporations

Tell us the woes of corporate greed

While insuring that we’re well-informed

About what brand-name crap we need.

Anyway, I’m done complaining!

Now excuse me as I go

To learn about the trans kids

Swimming here from Mexico.

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November 13, 2023 · 7:30 pm

Hunter’s Ted Talk

Remember when we were in grade school

And the winner of every fight

Wasn’t the guy who said “I have infinity”

But “I have infinity plus one”, right?

Well yesterday my boss said “You’re fired”

And I said “No, I’m infinity fired plus one”

And now I’m on the board of directors

And also the president’s son!

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September 18, 2023 · 7:46 pm

Somewhere, In Their Parents’ Basement, Is An Overworked Game Designer Making Voting Machines

In every Pokemon game

The story is the same.

In Zelda, the main canon

Is the bad guy’s always Ganon.

So if you say that Russia

Is rigging elections, I’ll shush ya

‘Cause if anybody can

I’d guess the culprit is Japan.

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September 14, 2023 · 6:59 pm

Enough Is Enough

Why do we keep electing the people

Who think that it’s totally cool

To make a new law that requires a sign

That says “Wet Floor” and goes in the pool?

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August 18, 2023 · 5:34 pm

And It Has Zero Calories!

I’ve invented a new cocktail

That’s a lot like a White Russian

But without the vodka, liqueur, cream, or ice.

It’s called a “Political Discussion”.

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August 8, 2023 · 8:00 pm

A Political Prodigy

I think my daughter will be president

Because she’s only three years old

And already knows how to tell everyone

To shut up and do as they’re told.

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August 1, 2023 · 8:16 pm

My Foreign Policy Platform

I think instead of buying tanks

We should hire children

To run around with pool noodles

And speak in Italian to people

Who are unhappy

Because America deserves happiness

And we have to spend $33 trillion on something.

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July 23, 2023 · 6:39 pm

…And The Young Female Offspring Is Called A Doelet

You remember that one guy in high school

Who really, REALLY, loved to talk

About how chinchillas reproduce

And the unpublished music of Bach

And no matter how incorrect he was

Or how bored you happened to be?

That guy is every political discussion

In 2023.

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July 13, 2023 · 9:42 pm

Unbearable

If you say “I pike pandas” everyone smiles

If you say “I don’t like koalas” that’s fine

Say what you want about grizzlies and polars

But you mention the blacks and they lose their minds…

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July 12, 2023 · 7:40 pm

Now They’ve Even Surrendered To Themselves…

There once was a city in France

That was known for its light and romance.

Then the mideast said “Holla”

And immigrated with Allah

And we know now who’s wearing the pants.

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