The necromancer, Sauron,
Was pondering his life:
No pesky job to go to,
No annoying, naggy wife.
He wished to live forever
So he made a magic ring
That would make him both immortal
And in charge of everything.
Deep in the fine print
Of this magical ring contract
Made the only way to break the ring
A particular lava contact,
And yet a little hobbit
Bypassed this security.
If only Sauron had the foresight
To beg advice from me
For I know an alternative
That might just have saved him:
In order to destroy the One Ring
You must cancel membership for the gym.
The Daily Travesty 