Tag Archives: Postaday

For Jimi And Prince: May They Forever Rock (And Roll Over In Their Graves)

Purple rain

Is such a pain.

Purple haze

Will not amaze.

For purple weather

That’s really neat

You need to try out

Purple sleet!

Like solid water

Or saggy snow

Purple Sleet’s

The way to go.

You doubt me? Ask

A friendly pilot:

There’s no sleet like

Sleet that is violet.

When hail’s too hard

And rain’s too gray

Don’t bid the clouds

To go away.

Instead you’ll wish

(Unless you’re dumb)

For slush to fall

That’s colored plum.

Purple Sleet

Will enlarge your meat.

It’s organic and part

Of a breakfast complete.

So when you’re blue

And just can’t cope

And some red to your slush:

Your sleet’s heliotrope!

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Back To The Future XVII

Today is my birthday.

I’m seven days old.

From now on when they tell me

“Park the DeLorean”

I’ll do what I’m told.

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Honestly This Is The Best Joke I Can Come Up With Tonight… So In That Sense The Poem Is Honest

I lied to you this evening

When I said that I was fine.

Truth is I feel rusty

Like I used WD-39.

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The Sexiest Acronym

There’s this fellow they call Y.I.

Everyone wants to F him, but why?

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Pilots vs. Hairdressers

Air show! Air show!

Lots of planes,

Tons of balls,

Questionable brains.

Hair show! Hair show!

Fewer planes,

Fewer balls,

The brain thing’s the same.

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The Pane Of Homophones

Sum folks dont knead it.

Other folks dew.

Eye’m speaking of coarse

Of voice two text apps. Dew ewe?

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99% Complete

70,020 updates

In a minute all are done,

So why’s it take an hour

For number 70,021?

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The End Of A Cycle

The cycle goes around itself,

A blinding dash of red.

The cycle collapses on itself.

Is its rider dead?

The cycle’s wheels roll away

Down the cliff, a stony slide.

The cyclist stands, his bike in shreds…

Last time he’ll text and ride.

Meanwhile the cycle rolls away

To who knows where and when

Until, reborn, the scattered scraps

Begin the cycle again.

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My First Acrostic

I is for my mother.

C is for my dad.

A is for my feelings.

N is for an impaler, namely Vlad.

T is for seismology.

S is for uninspired.

PEL is for impatience.

L is for “Am I Fired?”

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What Else Did I Get This PhD For?

What would you do

For a million dollars?

Some would sell their souls

Or become sales-callers.

Some would kill, some would cheat,

Some would steal, some would rage,

But I’ll just work 80 years

Earning minimum wage.

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