Tag Archives: Wealth

Seriously, Look It Up People!

Nixon heard of the Laffer curve

And thought it was a joke.

Reagan heard of the Laffer curve

And said “that’s why we’re broke!”

Obama heard of the Laffer curve

And asked “what did you smoke?”

Trump heard of the Laffer curve

And said “this is bigly woke!”

Most of you heard of the Laffer curve

For the first time just now,

You don’t know what it is

Or how it affects your chow.

So please look up the Laffer curve

So as to be better informed

And we can get to fixing

All the folks who’ve been social-normed.

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Lady and the Tramp

She was a Sagittarius

Who played a Stradivarius.

I was a Virgo

Who played the trombone.

She spent her days

Reading music and plays

While I played Tetris

Beside my pet stone.

She was a sommelier,

Who perused cassoulet

And to whom piquant tinctures

Were je ne sais quois.

But down by the lake

I jumped out of her cake

And I’m pretty certain

That she noticed moi.

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And You Can Help By Buying My Books! (For Art’s Sake)

If I make a million dollars

Writing poetry some day

I’ll buy a bunch of bushes

And cut them in a way

That they’re shaped like women

Who don’t like 50 Shades of Grey

Because we all need a bit more

Of those in our lives, eh?

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The Poet Eats PBJs and Justifies His Existence

I’d rather be happy than rich.

Mansions are fine, but smiles are hot.

I’d rather be happy than rich,

And I’m happy to say that I’m not.

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Rich People Suck Or Something, But Not Really…

You may be a man of means

Who’s healthy, wealthy, and wise. You

Sure may be a man of means

And if so I must despise you

For if you are a man of means

Your good luck clouds your head

For who would be a man of means

And not a man of nices instead?

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What Else Did I Get This PhD For?

What would you do

For a million dollars?

Some would sell their souls

Or become sales-callers.

Some would kill, some would cheat,

Some would steal, some would rage,

But I’ll just work 80 years

Earning minimum wage.

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The Rich Man Thinketh

I’ve developed a nasty growth,

A blighting blob of bloat

Called a sense of self-importance.

I have a strong desire to gloat.

Considering my presence

On this great orb on which we float

I realize how unhealthy this is,

Yet I’ll still buy that fur coat.

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