So I wrote this book called “Moby Dick”
But my publisher says its a marketing fail
So I kept the story and changed the title
And now it’s called “The White Whale”.
Tag Archives: Postaday
Late Night?
Growing up is when you play
D&D 12 hours a day.
Being an adult is when your Bard
Says “It’s 9:00 guys. We worked too hard.”
Filed under Poems
Evening Cuddles
Fat cat on my lap goes splat
And I pat his fat and that is that.
I rub and rub all ‘round his roundness
Until I question my mental soundness.
I sploop his leg and bwork his boop
And give his little gleeb a ploop
And then he bites and runs away
And thus I end another day.
Filed under Poems
ADHD
I’m an absent-minded guy
And I’d probably make a terrible spy.
On an unrelated note
I mowed the lawn and bought a boat.
Filed under Poems
Another Unifying Political Policy… Almost
I think most people are open
To human sacrifice. However
We disagree on who gets picked
And who will pull the lever.
Filed under Poems
Ode To Gen Alpha
There are many lovely people
In the world that I have seen,
Yet many would be lovelier
As part of Soylent Green.
Filed under Poems
Intercultural Communication
When black people get an education
People say they’re “Acting white”.
As a white person myself
I must say that isn’t right.
If you want to leave the ghetto
That’s an asian thing, for sure.
If you think I’m wrong, you’re gay.
Now speak English, por favor.
Filed under Poems
Want To Disable Blood Rain For $0.99?
Pestilence, Famine, Death, and War:
These are the mythic Horsemen four.
Another we’ll add in the next transcription:
It’s named, “To Continue, Please Buy A Subscription”.
Filed under Poems
It’s An Important Step!
There once was a griller from Harding
Who didn’t click his tongs twice before starting.
What happened next makes
Hiroshima seem low-stakes
And now God’s set the world a’ restarting.
Filed under Poems
Thank You For Calling
Your call is very important to us
So please enjoy this ditty
Until your soul gets old and grey.
Alas! It’s such a pity
That this call is very important to us
Yet all that you can do
Is stay on the line until nothing is fine
And the call’s not important to you.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 