I hope that before I die
I’ll fart one million times.
That or curing cancer…
Or maybe writing rhymes?
Tag Archives: Short
I Almost Published This Without A Title (And In A Way, I Still Did?)
I want to skip my poem today.
The thought went through my head
And yet I wrote a poem…
Maybe I’ll skip leg day instead!
Filed under Poems
And Yet They Give These To Eleven-Year-Olds?
If I were a Pokemon master
I’d sure get to work a lot faster.
With my Dragonite I’d
No traffic abide…
On reflection, that would be a disaster.
Filed under Poems
What Do You Mean “Is It In?”
It started with the big floppy disc
Then they made a smaller floppy.
CDs came, then thumb drives,
And now we have the micro-SD.
I guess we can be grateful
That our storage is getting firm
But the reduction in storage size
Is making my male brain squirm…
Filed under Poems
Looking Forward To The Olympics
Americans love their football teams.
Canadians love their hockey.
Mexicans are the cross country champs.
In China it’s boxing (Not like Rocky).
Filed under Poems
Genre-Dependent
Music is the universal language.
It can communicate to anyone at all
Things like “I have bad taste in music”
And “Girl, hop in! We’re going to the mall!”
Filed under Poems
Meanwhile, Google’s AI Says…
If I had a nickel
For every commercial starring a white guy
I would have as much money
As the black people who aren’t in ads.
—————————————————————
Violets are black.
Roses are black.
Criminals are racially diverse
So cut me some slack.
—————————————————————
Sure, the future isn’t white
But don’t you worry! It’s alright!
Europe’s long past its golden days
And no one likes swimming anyways.
Filed under Poems
Proverbs For The Modern Age
Do not stand between a man
Who’s running and a bathroom.
Do not wear a pair of pants
With insufficient calf room.
Those who want to sell you crap
Will first tell you “Hello.”
If you’re out of shampoo
Do not substitute Jello
Filed under Poems
The Master Will Go Now
The fact that thrice you mentioned
That you don’t care about corn Jimmy cracks
Makes me think that your indifference
Is facade instead of facts.
Filed under Poems
This Is My New Favorite Synonym For Buttcrack
I looked at the thong and what it covered
(Or more of what it didn’t hide).
I saw that arcing crack and had to ask
The most pressing question: “Butt Y?”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 