The stuff that makes wine
May grow on a vine;
The stuff that makes mead
Is what the bees need;
The stuff that makes leeches
Can be found on beaches;
But what makes my mind go
No one ever will know.
Tag Archives: Short
Male Privilege
Young girls get to be princesses
And have real tea at their party
And have sugar and milk
And gloves made of silk,
But boys? Yep! We get to be farty!
Filed under Poems
Still Better Than The New Hobbit Movies
There once was a fellow named Baggins
Who tired of old Gandalf’s naggin’s.
He stole a gold ring
From a fire snake thing
And inspired the game “Dungeons and Dragons”.
Filed under Poems
He Was All Willful And Majestic And Got Reunited With His Human Friend…
Tonight we watched a movie
About a very macho horse.
Was it a beautiful film? Yes!
And an excuse for a short poem? Of course!
Filed under Poems
Really Strained For That Rhyme… But Seriously! I Want Meat With Little Pits For The Syrup!
They have hot dogs; they have buns.
They have lunch meat; they have pancakes.
The equivalence I want to know:
What sort of meat a pair with waffles makes.
Filed under Poems
OnlineS3curi+y101
It asked me for my password;
I entered happyfreebird.
It said I needed a capital;
I wrote happyfreebirdL.
It said you need a number too;
I wrote happyfreebirdL2.
It said your password is weak and so is your bloodline, your identity will be stolen and you’ll deserve it you basic, filthy fleshbag;
I wrote gibberish because I’m just going to click “Forgot my password” anyway.
Filed under Poems
Seriously, Where’s The Llove?
Pegasus was a magical horse
Who carried heroes on its back.
Cerberus was a magical dog
With three heads for efficient attack.
The sphinx was a kitty who guarded a treasure
With elegant riddles and wit.
Now I want to hear of a mythical llama
Like cupid, but it shoots you with spit.
Filed under Poems
She Said Yes!
There once was a poet who asked
“Girlfriend, with marrying me will you be tasked?”
She said “Yes, ‘cause you’re weird
“And have a sexy beard.”
Then in congratulations we basked.
Filed under Poems
Paper And Scissors Can’t Top This
I exercised my glutes until they were hard as rock.
I entered a hardass contest and thought I was a lock.
I flex my bum! The judges gasp! I’m certain that I’ve got ‘em!
But even though my butt won first, I’d really hit rock bottom.
Filed under Poems
Why People Are Getting Married Less Nowadays
Glorious, glamorous, glandular, gassy,
Serious, spurious, sanctified, sassy,
Furious, fabulous, fortified, fun:
If they match all these adjectives, you’ve found the one!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 