Tag Archives: Silly

Hopscotch Reimagined

Who are these people,

These lines of numbered squares?

How do they feel

As the world around them stares?

As they’re moved from chalk outlines

Into their waiting coffin

We wonder why they’re murdered

On playgrounds so often…

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Four European Jokes

If you think you’re very nice

I’ll leave you this reminder:

No matter how kind you happen to be

German children will always be kinder.

——————————————————–

If you read the first jokes

And your focus yet lingers

How ’bout the Roman

Who held up two fingers

And said to the bartender

“Howdy there Clive!”

Clive asked “Two beers?”

But the Roman said “Five.”

——————————————————–

When France declared a civil war

At first we wondered “But what for?”

But thanks to the historically well-versed

We learned it was an argument about who surrendered first.

——————————————————–

Spain.

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Nautical Issues

“I don’t know how to say this…”

Jason said to Captain Tull,

“But the otorhinolaryngologist

“Spilled Worcestershire sauce in the forecastle.”

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The College Athlete

As I jogged through the locker room door

Coach was shouting “This is what we play for!”

I said “What coach means to say

“Is ‘this is that for which we play.'”

I guess that questioning coach’s decision

To end a cheer with a preposition

Resulted in, so it would seem,

My no longer being on the team.

While you might expect, after my blunder,

That I hope, in my absence, the team goes under

I don’t seek vengeance for my woes…

And it’s “In my absence I hope under is where my team goes.”

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The Elf In Boots Of Azure Suede

For Halloween I dressed like Legolas

From the franchise about the ring,

But as I walked about the town

People kept asking me to sing.

At first I didn’t understand

This request, but I caught on later…

People figured I could sing

Since I’m an Elvish Impersonator.

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It Rhymes, So It Doesn’t Have To Be Meaningful

I saw the custard being poured…

Flowing, flowing flan.

Then the custard pourer tripped…

Going going gone.

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Book Reports

Quite a number of years ago

There lived a certain so-and-so

Who often times did… well, you know…

And it turned out like you’d think.

Another someone did react

And that, I can say, is a fact.

Some things were had and some were lacked

And some of those things were pink.

Then stuff went down all over town

And what was pink soon turned to brown

And Jack fell down and broke his crown

And someone felt remorse!

Then the tale wrapped up in the knick of time

And what was pink, then brown, turned into lime

And all in all it was sublime.

What? Of course I read the book!

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