Superman came flying down
And handed me an Out.
He said, “I’ll be back before tomorrow”
But I had considerable doubt,
So I struck Superman with my knee
And I’m feeling perfectly right;
I kneed a hero
I’m holding Out for a hero ’til the end of the night.
Filed under Poems
So the shark attacked
And killed lots of people who
Went back three more times?
Filed under Poems
Everything is fatal
If you do it long enough.
That’s why I sit on the couch
And write poems and stuff.
Filed under Poems
I jumped out from behind a door
To startle a friend. They screamed
And said I scared them half to death.
My evil eye then gleamed
And I leapt out another time
To scare the other half away
But turns out they’re just 3/4 dead
And otherwise okay…
Filed under Poems
“So I have this really crappy drum
That sounds like birds flying into a wall
And I’ve tried selling it to musicians
But no one is buying at all.”
“Have you tried sticking two drums together
And giving them a really dumb name?”
“Why, no. Do you think that will help
If they still sound incredibly lame?”
Filed under Poems
There once was a Roman dragoon
Who got stabbed by a harpoon.
The medic said, “He
“Really needs an IV.”
The Roman said, “It’s a four, you buffoon!”
Filed under Poems
They made the very first anime
Back in 1963.
Since then it’s been a mainstay
Of international TV.
They have animes about everything
From kitties to killers, but still
No one’s made one with Japanese barbers
And I’m starting to think no one will…
Filed under Poems
People will say “Jesus Christ”
“God Damn” and “Heaven Forbid.”
Meanwhile, there’s just some bull out there
Who’s wondering what he did…
Filed under Poems
Living in the Arctic
Isn’t easy, so I’m told;
It’s devoid of food and shelter
And interminably cold.
But worse than frigid weather
Or starvation you should know
Is that even on the warmest days
The wi-fi’s always slow.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 