Tag Archives: Silly

When She Bakes You Brownies On A First Date

Your eyes are as pink as the ocean.

Your hair is like marshmallow fluff.

I don’t know if our love is true yet

But I know that your drugs are real.

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The Fantasy World Has More Normal Names For Its Cities

There once were some nerds from Puyallup

That imagined some monsters to wallop.

They played D&D

‘Til they passed level 3

And yes, that’s an actual place… Puyallup.

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Or They Might Just Be Cats… But I Feel Like This Gives These Deadly Predators Some Character

I wonder if the tigers at the zoo

Feel embarrassed when they have to poo

But they’re too proud for admitting

That they’re timid about shitting

And that’s why they always look so blue?

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The One-Question Political Test

What is the answer?

a. Jesus

b. Patriarchy

c. Climate Change

d. Freedom

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My Fiancee Made Me Watch A Barbie Movie

There once was a prince named Stefon

Who met a fantabulous blon

De girl with long hair

And there was love everywhere

And oh god, please rescue me! I’ve made a terrible mistake! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

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Phoning This One In…

There once was a phone with low battery

That I tried to charge with some flattery.

I said, “Hey there Samsung.

“You look very well hung.”

But it died and now I can’t be chattery.

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Ooh! Proof! Also Pool And Book And…

All good things have double o’s

And not just double-o-seven.

There’s good food and a good poop

And good wood can be heaven.

Also see spoonful of sugar,

Parenthood, toothsomeness, and the zoo.

Unless you’re a toothless bloodthirsty cooter

I’m sure you’ll agree with me too!

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When Nobody Gets You But Your Online Friends

A pack of wolves descends upon

The injured doe, devouring

All they can reach, the meat which they

Find ever so empowering.

Behind the pack, one wolf holds back

And types into its phone

“I’m vegan and my family’s like totally weird

“Hashtag wolf, hashtag lone.”

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Enthusiasm Has Its Limits

They put a DVD

In the Nintendo Wii.

They told me “Just Dance”

So I ripped off my pants

And now nobody’s playing with me…

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Degrees Of Sinfulness

I asked the preacher “Hey what if

“I steal a loaf of bread?”

The preacher answered “You’ll be judged

“In Heaven once you’re dead.”

I asked, “What if I kill somebody

“But I confess before I die?”

The preacher said “The Lord will judge

“If your intention is a lie.”

I asked, “What if I hog

“The bathroom before work?”

The preacher said, “You’ll go to Hell

You [Sinful language] jerk!”

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