Tag Archives: Silly

Dear Snowflakes…

If the words of a total stranger

Can cause great offense to you

Then I have just one thing to say

And that is whoop-dee-doo.

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Yes, I Accept Requests (Also, Go Hawks)

I was asked by a fan not named Ringo

To write a poem about Barkevius Mingo.

He isn’t a slacker

As an outside linebacker

But his surname limits my descriptive lingo.

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Breaking Up, 2019 Style

Like a printed photo album,

A collection of CDs,

The World Book Encyclopedia

Or watching things live on TV,

Like “Internet Explorer”

Or a brick-and-mortar store

Or carrying dimes to make a phone call

I don’t need you anymore.

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Dear Womxn…

The title’s not a typo

But a movement that began

Because the words “women” and “woman”

Include the words “men” and “man.”

I support those of all genders

Whether pronounceable or not

But there are a few more words

Of which ye womxn haven’t thought:

Mandatory, mandate

Manuscript and mandolin,

Manufacture, mandril,

Manhole, manager, mansion,

Manitoba, manometric,

And we haven’t seen

Manservant, mend, mental, and menstruate,

Manhandle, mangosteen,

Plus Truman, human, lumen,

Mandrake and manipulate,

Manifest, manageable,

Mannerly and mandarinate,

Mandatory, mandragora,

Manchineels and manticore,

Manicure, manifest, manubriums,

And over 1,600 more.

The point that I am making

Is that “man” shows up a lot;

It’s just a common phoneme,

Not a patriarchal plot.

So don’t mention Womxn to me

Or their mantras, manifestos,

Or other such manure.

Now excuse me, I’m making pesto.

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Wizard, Meet Rogue

He said he had a magic trick

That always would impress.

He told me to pick any card

So I picked his American Express.

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Just Peachy

I saw a gal I thought was cute

So I asked her thoughts on pitted fruit.

She said she thought plums were great

So I asked “How ’bout a date?”

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What You Do When You Can’t Mock Kwanzaa Via Poetry And Keep Your Job

‘Twas the day after Christmas

And all through my mind

No ideas were stirring

Of the poetic kind.

I stood by the fire

While amidst the tumult

And I pumped out two stanzas,

This being the result.

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