Tag Archives: Silly

Use The Haiku, Luke

I

Two Jedi go find

Slave boy on a desert world,

Blow up space station

II

Slave boy’s all grown up

Turns out there are lots of clones

And a war begins

III

Slave boy kills younglings,

Upgrades wardrobe with a cape

And breathing device

IV

Old Jedi befriends

Farm boy on a desert world,

Blows up space station

V

Farm boy meets his dad.

Talking doesn’t go so well.

Things get out of hand

VI

Crime boss meets his match

And the farm boy saves his dad,

Blows up space station

VII

Desert planet girl

Looks for farm boy far away,

Blows up space station

VIII

What the #%%* was this?

Slow car chase through space, I guess?

Also, farm boy dies

IX

Space girl with map knife…

“Somehow, Palpatine returned”…

Identity Theft…

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Flossing

If your gums don’t bleed

You aren’t pressing hard enough.

Do it every night.

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#LiterallySatan

War is pretty bad.

Epstein didn’t kill himself.

Can we get taxed less?

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A Dino Sore Subject

I don’t know when or how

But humanity will go;

Extinction is inevitable

But what I want to know

Is if those who come after us

Will maintain our legacy

By making chicken nuggies

That are shaped like you and me.

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The Missing Link

Ten thousand people gather

Outside a thousand-person town

To see a stranger live his dream

When his band has come around.

He’ll play a dozen ditties

And we’ll sing along by heart

Because a dumb thing he wrote down

Appeared to us as art.

He’ll sell out seven stadiums

All seven days a week

And people clap and scream and cry

All just to hear him speak.

If this man brings such joy to many

Then imagine what you’d do

If you were better looking

And rich and super talented too!

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Ode To My Brain After The First Day Of School

Repeat after me:

Just because the door says push

Doesn’t mean don’t pull.

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When In Rome (Or The Dangers Of Conformity)

I think Italians

Must have problems with their kids

Jumping off bridges

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All Milk Is Creates Equal

Think now of the vegans

And all of their ilk

Who don’t consume dairy

Like ice cream or milk

But feel no guilt

Drinking milk of the oat

Or the almond or cashew

Or soy. They emote:

“We’re saving the animals”

While the little nut babies

Must drink formula

That may just give them rabies.

So when the nuts come

And they kick down your door

And they eat your begonias

And poop on your floor

Go thank a vegan,

Those shortsighted folks

Who steal milk from young produce

And also hate jokes.

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Maker Of EVERYTHING?

God is perfect, but

Counterpoint: Cilantro though…

I doth rest my case.

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Not All Similes Are Created Equal

Life is like an avocado

In the metaphorical sense that it’s

Kinda bumpy on the surface

And, if you go deep, it’s the pits,

It’s got a bunch of healthy fat

And more phosphorous than you’d expect

And probably lots of other dots

ThatI’ve yet to connect.

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