Tag Archives: Silly

Yeah, The Secret Paedophile Lizards Have Gone Too Far Now…

I needed some lubrication

(Not for that, you dirty cad!)

So I went to the supermarket

To see what types they had.

They had oil made from olives,

Coconuts, almonds, sunflowers,

And ingredients I can’t pronounce

Even if I tried for hours.

But then I saw a product

That set my blood a boil:

Somebody was selling there

A jar of baby oil!

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All True, But It Should Have Ended Eight Lines Sooner

If you put yogurt into a tube

It changes its name to Gogurt.

If you put yogurt into a friendship

It changes its name to brogurt.

If you plant yogurt deep in the forest

Someday it just might growgurt.

If you give it high heels and make it dance

You could say its a showgurt.

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Three Poems On The Mysteries Of Love

If I had a pickle

For every time you smile

I’d be decorating sandwiches

For a sufficient while.

—————————————————————

As the birds sing in the morning

And the bugs crawl in the night

So too doth my heart yearneth

When you say “Meh, you’re alright…”

—————————————————————

I picked the petals from the flower:

“She loves me, she loves me not…”

But I misread the directions

Turns out it was flour I bought.

As I sift through every grain

I frown and then I smile.

I’m getting a great workout

But the results will take a while.

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December 23rd Urd Urd…

‘Twas the night before the night before Christmas

And all through the all through the house

Everyone was everyone was wondering

“Why the **** is everything echoey?”

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But You Have To Pour The Milk First

One day at breakfast I asked my niece

“What if a bowl of cereal were all just one piece?”

My niece said, “I don’t mean to boast

“But I invented that cereal. I call it ‘Toast.’”

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Koala Bear Care, But Human Clean Poo Man?

Somewhere in Australia

A koala has a baby,

And when that baby takes a poo

In public, then just maybe

Koala mommy and her cub

In a public restroom hide

And clean up on a table

With a human on the side…

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Breaking: Illuminati Leader Identified At Last!

One day, a cat suggested

“Wouldn’t it be great

“If we walked up to humans,

“Who we obviously hate,

“And acted cute and fluffy

“‘While we multiply their struggles?”

That cat is world famous now;

His name is Mr. Snuggles.

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So Ended The Artistic Career Of Coal-Eyed Jack

Once a man who had no legs

And really skinny arms

Made a statue of himself.

He didn’t see the harm,

And so he rolled three balls of snow

And stacked them one by one

Until a rabbit ate his nose

And spoiled all the fun.

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One Animal That Won’t Let You Down

See you later alligator.

In a while crocodile.

Time to vamoose you silly goose.

Sayonara capybara.

All these partings for a beast

Didn’t matter in the least

To the all-knowing, ever-present

“Never gonna give you up” pheasant.

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The REAL Home Office

If, instead of cubicles,

We gave all employees

Their own private bathroom

And a set of private keys

So they could sit on porc’lain throne

And work at the same time

Productivity would go up

By a factor of eight or nine.

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