Tag Archives: Silly

… Just Disappointed

I’m not mad that in a day

Awareness of the Manta Ray

And its lack of presence in verse

Has hardly changed, for better or worse.

I’m not mad that my attempt

Has not resulted as I dreamt.

Alas, it is not as I wished,

For still few care for the flat gray fish.

And so in my last plea to you

I wrote, of the Manta, this haiku:

Swimming manta ray.

Crocodile hunter slain

And still no poems.

I hope I have inspired you

To write rhymes of the great ray too.

Rhyming’s hard, and some will balk

Yet still I’m glad we had this talk.

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One’s a Crowd

I’m a lonely little elf

In the presence of myself.

The solitude, it hurts my head.

I just wish I’d stop talking and go to bed.

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Universal Spoiler Alert

“I think you’re wrong” said someone

Who thought that they were right.

“I think you’re wrong,” said someone else,

And they began to fight.

I’d bet a million pesos

You saw that on TV last night.

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“An Updated Classic” Or “Backstory”

It was one of those days

When you want apple pie

But the waitress is cute

And you’re just too shy.

It’s one of those days

To spend at the riverbank

But when you drive there, the water’s

All stuck in a tank.

You want to hang out

With men who are classy

But good guys are drunk, so you settle

For guys who’re half-assy.

And you and your half-assy

Friends you’ll soon see

Just sit around singing

About mortality.

Oh my my,

I missed the American pie.

Drove my chevy to the levy

But the levy was dry,

And the good old boys

Were drinking whiskey and rye.

Yeah, I guess this’ll be

The day that I die.

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Don’t We All

They say I’ve a nose like a bloodhound,

Eyes of an eagle, ears of an elf.

That’s a polite way for people to say

I suck at hide-and-seek when I play by myself.

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What Doesn’t Kill You

“What doesn’t kill you

Makes you stronger”

Is total BS.

What about candy,

Vasectomies,

And gastrointestinal stress?

Watching television

Or putting on your socks

Don’t build the muscles all that well,

Nor does eating with a spoon

Or staring at the sun

Or reading books that teach you how to sell.

So how about

Instead of that stupid saying

We make a stupid saying of our own?

“What doesn’t kill you

Can be made into bad poems

That can be written rather quickly on one’s phone.”

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A Few Good Runs

I eat a plum

To celebrate

A happy day,

Successful date,

A win at work,

A good night’s sleep,

Looking at a woman

Without seeming like a creep.

I’ve been succeeding

In lots of ways,

And I’ll be out of the bathroom

One of these days…

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Daylight “Savings”

We lost one hour

When we got out of bed.

Next year let’s do it

On a Monday instead.

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Don’t Talk To Strangers, AKA Board Games

I walked up to a stranger

And promptly said “I’m bored.”

Turns out he’s a genie.

“I’ve heard your wish, my lord.”

Alas, the genie’s spelling

Was unfortunately poor,

And that’s the tale of how

I became a two-by-four.

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A Trainer’s Life

I was taking a walk

Down route 123

When I saw you

Turn and look towards me.
As our eyes met

It was just like they said,

Like an exclamation point

Flashed over your head
And then you walked toward me

And called through the air:

“I like shorts! They’re comfy

And easy to wear.”
And then you attacked me

With your slave-monster pets.

I took all your money

And I have no regrets
Because I’m the greatest

Like no figure in lore.

That’s why you don’t

Make eye contact anymore.

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