It’s been 6 hours since Donald
Gave a speech at Capitol Hill
Expressing his opinions
And imposing his Donaldly will
But the question that America
Will be asking is not about that.
Instead, we’re asking what’s the deal
With Melania’s mile-wide hat.
Tag Archives: Silly
They Always Said He Was Watching…
So I got a notification
That says God is following my blog…
I guess I’m no longer an atheist
And perhaps I should learn how to jog?
Filed under Poems
Know Any Urologists Hiring A Marketing Expert?
If your Weiner is white
Or your Weiner is black
You’ll be alright.
I’ll cut you some slack;
If your Weiner is red
Or your Weiner is yellow
You might have a problem.
But I know a fellow!
Filed under Poems
When You Have A Questionable Job And Media-Literate Coworkers
Today I went back to work
And I had an amazing day
That was absolutely fantastic
In every single way!
I got paid well and my colleagues
Are fine, upstanding folks
And I’m sharing this with you
So I don’t get fired for writing jokes.
Filed under Poems
Portmanteau-tally Wonderful!
My wife is ultradorable
And superfect as well.
I think she’s megawesome
And my only fear is she’ll
Come home with a horse one day
That she was drunkenjoying
Because, although she’s gigamazing,
She can be equestriannoying.
Filed under Poems
Fun Ideas For Improving The World #682
I think we need a theme park
Called IQ Test Land
Where every ride is deadly
(Intentionally planned)
And a prize will be given
To the one lucky guest
Who survives on the rides
Longer than all the rest.
It’s not a solution
Without any flaws
And may be against
International laws
But in the week that its open
The world will be cleared
Of many a person
Who think seat belts are weird.
Filed under Poems
Unlock Next Year’s Poem For $99.99/Month (50% Off)?
I had a lovely afternoon
About which you’ll never hear
Because I’m saving the clever poems
For probably sometime next year.
Filed under Poems
Marketing, Baby!
Women buy all kinds of scented candles
With scents like Carmel Apple and Sandalwood.
These candles smell like what the label tells you
And that kind of clarity is good.
The reason men don’t buy more scented candles
Is because the candles don’t have scents for a guy
Like “Cool Sports Rush”, “Hang Ten”, or “Anaconda”
Which are the smells we men have proved we’ll buy.
Filed under Poems
I Used To Dress Up Like Grandma… Now I Save Other Animals From My Mistake
The big bad wolf went down to the coop
Where the farmer said “There’s 38 genders.”
The wolf ain’t ate no chickens so far
But he ate the chicken tenders.
Filed under Poems
Tesla? More Like Tes-lame! Am I Right?
In the high school for automobiles
No one likes the electric cars.
They don’t get invited to parties
And they aren’t the athletic stars.
Not even the nerds like the ‘lectrics
Because all the gas cars have colluded
To ensure what we’ve known all our lives:
That batteries aren’t included.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 