I wish I had a yttrium-plated snow globe.
A yttrium-plated globe would make me smile
Because I’d have something no billionaire has
At least for a brief and satisfying while.
Tag Archives: Silly
Adventures in Undead Education
Little Dracula was a fool.
Little Dracula didn’t go to school.
His one weakness he could not surmount:
Little Dracula could not count.
Filed under Poems
When School Gives You Hope
Sunday evening ends.
Glitch in time. It’s Saturday.
Yay, quantum physics!
Filed under Poems
Unfowtunate
I’m a dwagon, big and stwong.
I bweathe fiwe all night long.
I can cwush you in the blink of an eye
But no one’s come to slay me. Why?
Filed under Poems
When The Island Is Closed
This year for halloween
I want to be a political elite
By staying out of the public eye
And putting a roundabout on your street.
Filed under Poems
Oktoberfest
We’ve entered the month
Where people dress up
And act like they’re German
And fill a big cup
With beer, eat a pretzel,
And fry up a brat.
Tonight you like polka:
Tomorrow, you’ll not.
Filed under Poems
You’ve Got Fail
Microsoft had a Magic 8-Ball
And shook it every day
To get ideas for products
Based on what it had to say.
For Word, the ball said “Signs point to yes.”
For Powerpoint, it said “You should.”
But the message they most took to heart
Was “Outlook not so good.”
Filed under Poems
We Could Have Had Super Soldiers By Now, And Yet…
Still no one has tried
Giving coffee to the sloths.
Science, what the #%**?
Filed under Poems
I’d Go Myself, But I Have Pilates At 10:30
Ride on! Ride on brave warriors!
To doom and glory ye harken.
Your hope burns bright though every night
And day the skies doth darken.
Ride on! Ride on our guardians
To wherever you might go
For someone hath misused my pronouns
And their error to them you must show.
Filed under Poems
World Design 101
You ask me if there is a god
And I say that I hope not
For I have traveled o’er the world
And many treasures sought
Yet behind every waterfall
I found just rocky flat.
Who would wish a god exists
Who makes a world like that?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 