If you have a form of ‘tism
It may be a blessing or flaw
Depending on whether its “nepo”
Or more on the spectrum of “au”.
Tag Archives: Silly
Christmas/Dinner
Everything is food to something
And food is a wonderful gift
So don’t think too much about presents
And embrace your omnivorous thrift.
Filed under Poems
Effort Is For Those Who Sleep
Roses are red,
My life is busy.
Good night, and may all
Of your sodas be fizzy.
Filed under Poems
…and the F-Beech-I
I have been informed
“Tree Hunger Games are not real”
By the Tree-I-A
Filed under Poems
When People Ask Why I Keep Writing
One day, organized crime
Will decide that now is the time
To launder some money
Through low art that is funny
And also just happens to rhyme.
Filed under Poems
When You Try REAALLY Hard To Make The Punchline Work
Superman came flying down
And handed me an Out.
He said, “I’ll be back before tomorrow”
But I had considerable doubt,
So I struck Superman with my knee
And I’m feeling perfectly right;
I kneed a hero
I’m holding Out for a hero ’til the end of the night.
Filed under Poems
Why Is Jaws A Franchise?
So the shark attacked
And killed lots of people who
Went back three more times?
Filed under Poems
Life = Short
Everything is fatal
If you do it long enough.
That’s why I sit on the couch
And write poems and stuff.
Filed under Poems
Spooky Discovers Fractions
I jumped out from behind a door
To startle a friend. They screamed
And said I scared them half to death.
My evil eye then gleamed
And I leapt out another time
To scare the other half away
But turns out they’re just 3/4 dead
And otherwise okay…
Filed under Poems
Bongos (And The Rest Is History)
“So I have this really crappy drum
That sounds like birds flying into a wall
And I’ve tried selling it to musicians
But no one is buying at all.”
“Have you tried sticking two drums together
And giving them a really dumb name?”
“Why, no. Do you think that will help
If they still sound incredibly lame?”
Filed under Poems
