Tag Archives: Silly

See Also: Ant Farms

Once upon a time, some guy

Said “I know what we need!:

“A kinda boring screensaver

“We also have to feed.”

All the other townspeople

Said “That’s as good as it gets,”

And they all went out to buy themselves

Some fish to keep as pets.

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#Fitness

Cookies for breakfast,

Pizza for lunch,

Twelve donuts for dinner,

But I did one crunch!

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Beauty Without Photoshop

Willow, willow, don’t you weep.

Just calm upon the Earth sit.

Your loveliness has but one name:

Arb’oreal: Because you’re worth it.

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Why The White House Has Five Full-Time Chefs

I shouldn’t be the president

Because when I want a snack

I go to a take out restaraunt

And microwave it when I get back.

At first that won’t seem dangerous

Until my words are these:

“I’m feeling kinda hungry… hey!

“Why not nuke some Chinese?”

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Pyramids: Primeval Percussion Palaces

Before the phrase “More Cowbell”

Took the world by storm

Egyptians had a fever

And only could stay warm

By making a great replica

Of the instrument they’d dangle;

And they shouted in Egyptian

“I need some more triangle!”

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It Rubs Me The Wrong Way, You Know?

Some people fear that God fellow.

Some people fear that Devil guy.

I fear the one who actually prefers

The toilet paper with just one ply.

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Sir Alec Guinness, Ladies and Gents

There once was a guy named Obi

Whose surname was, weirdly, Kenobi.

Then this kid came along…

“Do you know Obi-Wan?”

And he was like “Of course I know me!”

—————————————————————

There once was a trooper, unnamed,

Who sought droids with data untamed,

But Obi’s like “Pu-lease!

“You ain’t looking for these.”

Only later trooper thought “I got gamed.”

—————————————————————

There one was a giant black guy

Who had a death star in the sky.

Obi met him one day

And was like “Ani! Hey!”

And then Obi-Wan’s like, “Guess I’ll die.”

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Hence, The Dictionary

When you really think about it

All language came about

Because some caveman somewhere

Thought “Maybe I should shout

“A bunch of random nonsense,”

And someone from out of town

Thought “That would make a boring book;

“I’d better write it down!”

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When You Pull On A Hangnail It Starts Bleeding

“Sometimes it feels

Like I am the undead,

A decaying body

Kept alive by a head

That is absent of thoughts,

Knowing nothing but pain

Until I can feast

On a life once again.

Some people despise me

For they think I’m a devil,

Depraved, dirty, lesser,

And not on their level.”

The doctor just smiled

And he asked me again:

“How much does it hurt,

From a 1 to a 10?”

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Happy Birthday Mom!

A mother’s like a brother

If a brother were a mom.

There’s no other to smother;

You’re her one and only “da bomb.”

She’s comfy and inviting

And onto her you do glom.

My mother made me write this

And I wish her much aplomb!

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